Received this in our adoption email account today from Dillon:
"Congratulations! Your Application Part 1 has been approved. The Application Part 2 packet will be mailed to you today. We are excited for you and look forward to working with you during your adoption journey...."
Plus yesterday all our DCFS/Initial Home Study & Fingerprints were approved by our social worker & sent off... Our first date for the Home Study in our home is coming up in a little over 2 weeks on Monday, July 16th!
And on this hot date in Illinois, my sonshine said, "I bet my brother is so hot because he doesn't even have a pool to go to!" I love that my kids always remember him too because I know he is rarely far from Ryan & I's minds! So every step is one step closer to Ghanian soil - We're coming little one!!!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Who is he?
I'm not sure if there is a day that goes by that I don't wonder about this... "Who is he?" which of course goes further into - How old is? What is personality like? What is his name? What is his Ghanian family like? Is he tall or short? Is his skin on the darker side (like those in Ghana tend to be) or on the lighter side of the African spectrum?
So here's the little that we DO know (& it's not much!!):
..... we know we are asking for a boy age 0-36 months. Currently our agency is placing kids age 2 & older (with a couple younger here or there), so we anticipate he will be around 2, but we don't know for sure... This is what we preferred as truthfully, the newborn stage isn't our favorites. (Which is what lead us to international adoption in the first place; options were either that or foster care which we ended up deciding to forego after many months of searching & a lot of prayer).
.....we know that he will be from Ghana. This took awhile to figure out, but after narrowing down to Africa we debated between Uganda & Ghana, finally deciding on Ghana for a number of reasons. First, it is a fairly stable country politically (as opposed to Uganda, where Ryan has spent a lot of time - a lot of progress there, but between Museveni's desire to keep control & the LRA persecution in the north, a lot of unrest still remains). In fact, Ghana is currently ranked the friendliest & most peaceful country in Africa. (They call themselves the Land of Sunshine!) Second, things are moving in Ghana - boys age 2 & up are the most commonly placed children from Ghana & average length that we saw is anywhere from 6-18 months (as opposed to Ethiopia which, as many people probably know, is experiencing a "growing pains" of sorts within all the bureaucratic red-tape). Ghana's first language is English (whew!), plus we found out there are 1.1 million orphans in this small country located in West Africa between the Ivory Coast & Togo. Also, to be very honest, getting to experience a new country & culture is very appealing to us!!
.....we know that we are working with Dillon International. We were very committed to a well-established agency with a high reputation for ethical adoption & orphan care, as well as an established program in Ghana before international adoptions began. Dillon Adoption Agency met all of those requirements and were highly recommended for their ethical adoptions from a number of other agencies (plus the Ghana program coordinator & I just clicked! Her name is Jynger with a "J" & if you know my "J" family, then you know that just got me excited!!).
Despite all those kind-of "knowns", as we fill out all the paperwork, take all the recommended education hours, & get ready for our home study sometime in July.... we just keep asking God what He wants for our family. We imagine a boy - most likely we will be "twinning" (in adoption terms this means he would be within a year give or take from our littlest)... We imagine he's active enough to keep up with our Sonshine who is ready to teach him all the ropes of baseball, soccer & basketball... We imagine he's sturdy enough to withstand our Precious's enormous hugs & "in your face" kind-of love (& to hug her back tightly in return!)...We imagine he's tough enough to hold on to his toys from when our Little One tries to pry them from his hands (she'll most likely be right in that oh-so-enjoyable "Mine, Mine, Mine" stage when he gets here!), but still adore her for all the fun & smiles she's sure to bring to his life!
And as a side note, we've already been praying for his name & we invite you to do the same with us... All our children have the same initials (first names all begin with a T). Normally we would probably just allow him to keep his African name, but we want him to have a sense of belonging & identity with our family, after all he will be our son!! So, truthfully, we have been praying that he will already have a name starting with the letter T (sometimes it feels like a little much to ask for, but we know God is in the "more than you can ask or imagine" business!). And in the meantime, we will keep exploring options that will honor his African heritage but give him a firm sense of being "ours"... We are always open to suggestions!!!
So here's the little that we DO know (& it's not much!!):
..... we know we are asking for a boy age 0-36 months. Currently our agency is placing kids age 2 & older (with a couple younger here or there), so we anticipate he will be around 2, but we don't know for sure... This is what we preferred as truthfully, the newborn stage isn't our favorites. (Which is what lead us to international adoption in the first place; options were either that or foster care which we ended up deciding to forego after many months of searching & a lot of prayer).
.....we know that he will be from Ghana. This took awhile to figure out, but after narrowing down to Africa we debated between Uganda & Ghana, finally deciding on Ghana for a number of reasons. First, it is a fairly stable country politically (as opposed to Uganda, where Ryan has spent a lot of time - a lot of progress there, but between Museveni's desire to keep control & the LRA persecution in the north, a lot of unrest still remains). In fact, Ghana is currently ranked the friendliest & most peaceful country in Africa. (They call themselves the Land of Sunshine!) Second, things are moving in Ghana - boys age 2 & up are the most commonly placed children from Ghana & average length that we saw is anywhere from 6-18 months (as opposed to Ethiopia which, as many people probably know, is experiencing a "growing pains" of sorts within all the bureaucratic red-tape). Ghana's first language is English (whew!), plus we found out there are 1.1 million orphans in this small country located in West Africa between the Ivory Coast & Togo. Also, to be very honest, getting to experience a new country & culture is very appealing to us!!
.....we know that we are working with Dillon International. We were very committed to a well-established agency with a high reputation for ethical adoption & orphan care, as well as an established program in Ghana before international adoptions began. Dillon Adoption Agency met all of those requirements and were highly recommended for their ethical adoptions from a number of other agencies (plus the Ghana program coordinator & I just clicked! Her name is Jynger with a "J" & if you know my "J" family, then you know that just got me excited!!).
Despite all those kind-of "knowns", as we fill out all the paperwork, take all the recommended education hours, & get ready for our home study sometime in July.... we just keep asking God what He wants for our family. We imagine a boy - most likely we will be "twinning" (in adoption terms this means he would be within a year give or take from our littlest)... We imagine he's active enough to keep up with our Sonshine who is ready to teach him all the ropes of baseball, soccer & basketball... We imagine he's sturdy enough to withstand our Precious's enormous hugs & "in your face" kind-of love (& to hug her back tightly in return!)...We imagine he's tough enough to hold on to his toys from when our Little One tries to pry them from his hands (she'll most likely be right in that oh-so-enjoyable "Mine, Mine, Mine" stage when he gets here!), but still adore her for all the fun & smiles she's sure to bring to his life!
And as a side note, we've already been praying for his name & we invite you to do the same with us... All our children have the same initials (first names all begin with a T). Normally we would probably just allow him to keep his African name, but we want him to have a sense of belonging & identity with our family, after all he will be our son!! So, truthfully, we have been praying that he will already have a name starting with the letter T (sometimes it feels like a little much to ask for, but we know God is in the "more than you can ask or imagine" business!). And in the meantime, we will keep exploring options that will honor his African heritage but give him a firm sense of being "ours"... We are always open to suggestions!!!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Trying hard not to laugh...
So, anyone that knows our Precious Number 2, knows that you can't anticipate what she will say next... let's just say she lives up to the blond in her hair!!
Every night as we pray together she faithfully prays for her little brother who is coming "in like 3 days or something like that" (right, something like that...)
So, for your reading enjoyment, here's a snippet of her prayers put into one... She usually prays for a bit then gets to her main topic of prayer lately which goes something like this...
Precious One: "Dear God, we thank you that we are getting a new brother who will be younger than me but will be a boy like Tobias and probably sleep in his room in a bed, but maybe a crib, and who will fit in somewhere by our baby sister and who is coming from Ghana which is in Africa..."
Me or Ryan: "okay, pretty sure God's got that now, you can move on..."
Precious One: "And we just thank you he is going to come and just be with him as he is in Africa, keep him safe, and make sure he has good teeth..."
Me or Ryan: (Raising of eyebrows)
Precious One: "And thank you that he will have dark skin because he's from Africa. And we pray that he wouldn't love God..."
Me or Ryan: "Wait, wait, wait... you mean love God."
Precious One: "No, Mom, there are just some people who don't love God."
Me or Ryan: "Okay right, but we are going to tell him about God & how much God loves him, so we are praying that he would learn to love God..."
Precious One: (sigh...) "Okay, so we pray that we teach him how You love him & that he will learn to love you. And we thank you that we will teach him not to fight so that he won't fight like Tobias & I sometimes fight. And we thank you.."
Me or Ryan: "Okay, you know what? I think that's good for today... let's just wrap it up..."
Precious One: "And God, please just bring him here really soon. Amen."
AMEN!! SO BE IT!!
Every night as we pray together she faithfully prays for her little brother who is coming "in like 3 days or something like that" (right, something like that...)
So, for your reading enjoyment, here's a snippet of her prayers put into one... She usually prays for a bit then gets to her main topic of prayer lately which goes something like this...
Precious One: "Dear God, we thank you that we are getting a new brother who will be younger than me but will be a boy like Tobias and probably sleep in his room in a bed, but maybe a crib, and who will fit in somewhere by our baby sister and who is coming from Ghana which is in Africa..."
Me or Ryan: "okay, pretty sure God's got that now, you can move on..."
Precious One: "And we just thank you he is going to come and just be with him as he is in Africa, keep him safe, and make sure he has good teeth..."
Me or Ryan: (Raising of eyebrows)
Precious One: "And thank you that he will have dark skin because he's from Africa. And we pray that he wouldn't love God..."
Me or Ryan: "Wait, wait, wait... you mean love God."
Precious One: "No, Mom, there are just some people who don't love God."
Me or Ryan: "Okay right, but we are going to tell him about God & how much God loves him, so we are praying that he would learn to love God..."
Precious One: (sigh...) "Okay, so we pray that we teach him how You love him & that he will learn to love you. And we thank you that we will teach him not to fight so that he won't fight like Tobias & I sometimes fight. And we thank you.."
Me or Ryan: "Okay, you know what? I think that's good for today... let's just wrap it up..."
Precious One: "And God, please just bring him here really soon. Amen."
AMEN!! SO BE IT!!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
who, what, where, when, WHY??
So last night was one of those moments - - the kind that every mom has, but we rarely talk about (which is a shame... but that's a whole 'nother post). I had a bit of a breakdown. Now I've had way, way worse - this didn't involved too many tears, but it involved a bad attitude and I admit, I was looking at things wrong; instead of choosing thankfulness, I chose discontentment. I was working in my kitchen & getting frustrated by the leaky faucet (it's been like that for months), the gnats flying around my head from the doors being left open by my kids, the dishes in the sink because the dishwasher hadn't been unloaded yet, the 2 loads of clean laundry yet to be folded... then I start thinking about the other 2 folded loads upstairs that need to be put away, not to mention the full hampers in all our rooms - well, you get my drift...and I'm sorry to admit that I took my bad attitude out on my husband mentioning all the things that need to get done, but don't seem to ever get done. And in that frustration I tell him "What are we doing? Why would we add another kid to this family?" Which really meant (because you all know women aren't always that great at saying what they are really thinking!): "Why are we choosing to add another hamper of laundry that needs to be washed, folded, & put away and another sinkful of dishes? Why more uncapped markers & broken crayons? Why would we want to add to the growing stack of half-finished drawings from the kids and the scattered toys throughout the house? Or the potential to have another child who has to go to the bathroom every 2 blocks that we walk away from our house to the point that we have to map out our walks so we go by houses we know?" (this may or may not have also happened last night...)
So, those are all valid, good questions & when people ask us "WHY?" I know those are the things they are really thinking. But here's what happened an hour after my meltdown... I rocked my baby girl to sleep in my arms... I laid in bed with TJ 1 & TJ 2 and talked about all the fun we had that day at the zoo with our grandma & cousins, about playing outside & the good books we read that day... And I remembered as I gave them good-night hugs & kisses and walked downstairs to find the house all picked up & my husband scrubbing dishes at the sink that THESE are the better things - the things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely & admirable, excellent & praiseworthy (Phillipians 4:8). The things we desire & have committed to choosing in our lives...
So while our "Why?" entails a desire for a brother for our son, a playmate for littlest one, another son to love on for Ryan & I ... it also entails choosing the better thing. Because there are so many children who go to bed at night & may not be able to pinpoint a highlight of their day or may not get all the snuggling & hugs & kisses that my kids are getting, and Ryan & I know that we can do that - we can provide those things for another child. So really, "WHY NOT?"
So, those are all valid, good questions & when people ask us "WHY?" I know those are the things they are really thinking. But here's what happened an hour after my meltdown... I rocked my baby girl to sleep in my arms... I laid in bed with TJ 1 & TJ 2 and talked about all the fun we had that day at the zoo with our grandma & cousins, about playing outside & the good books we read that day... And I remembered as I gave them good-night hugs & kisses and walked downstairs to find the house all picked up & my husband scrubbing dishes at the sink that THESE are the better things - the things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely & admirable, excellent & praiseworthy (Phillipians 4:8). The things we desire & have committed to choosing in our lives...
So while our "Why?" entails a desire for a brother for our son, a playmate for littlest one, another son to love on for Ryan & I ... it also entails choosing the better thing. Because there are so many children who go to bed at night & may not be able to pinpoint a highlight of their day or may not get all the snuggling & hugs & kisses that my kids are getting, and Ryan & I know that we can do that - we can provide those things for another child. So really, "WHY NOT?"
Sunday, May 27, 2012
So excited to finally announce....
So you may or may not know that Ryan & I, but Ryan specifically, have spent a significant time of "life before marriage" (do you remember that time? It's when you could do whatever you want, whenever you want... vaguely? me too...) in Uganda, East Africa. In fact, we were engaged right on a beautiful beach at the edge of the Indian Ocean in Mombasa, Kenya (yep, that's the pic I posted). What I can tell you is that God planted a desire for adoption on my heart before I even went to Africa or met Ryan in Indianapolis (or before adoption became "popular"), but even during our engagement & for years after when I would share this, Ryan just wasn't feeling it. He felt that if you are able to have your own children, then that's what God called you to - why do more? So fast really forward to 2009, post second child, and we both start wondering if we should go for a third or not. At some point in there I again asked Ryan if his thoughts on adoption had changed & they hadn't; so I realized that God was asking me to lay it down, to give it to Him completely... and that's what I did. So much so that I felt His confirmation in my heart in deciding to have another child from my own body again - which isn't my favorite thing to do truthfully. (While I love the end-result, the pregnancy part isn't my cup of tea; little did I know, this pregnancy would be my worst one yet!!)
So 5 months into my pregnancy (thankfully I wasn't quite yet on bedrest!), we were out to dinner & Ryan tells me he's been wondering "If 3, why not 4? Why not make it even?" I'm already a little shocked at this point - I mean, 4?!?! This was never on "the agenda" when we got married - we said 2, maybe 3, but never 4!! (Pretty sure God just loves laughing when we use that word "never"...) Anyway, the next thing out of his mouth is "And I'm thinking we should adopt." ............. (Insert stunned silence here)........... The truth is I wasn't just surprised by this announcement, I was angry!! Here I sat, BODY stretched this way & that by another child that we had prayed for & prayed over, HEART having given up the notion of adoption because I thought that's what God was asking of me, and MIND wondering how on earth my husband came up with the idea of having more than 3 children.... Not sure what I eventually said but something that went along with the mumbling cliche "I need to pray about it" which translates into "God's going to have to move a mountain in my life to get me to agree to what you are saying".
And so God gave me time, a lot of time actually..time to lay on my left side on the coach & just pray - to surrender not only my will, but to lay down my husband, my children, my strive for perfection & my struggle with daily failure, my earthly temptations & my "heaven is my home" desires... and it lead me to a place where I knew if God had been faithful to "move a mountain" & bring my husband to this conclusion then He would carry us through whatever else He brought our way. I knew He had already blessed us beyond what we could ask or imagine and we both knew we were capable of providing for another child financially, physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually - how could I ignore the millions of orphans who were in need of all of those very things??
And so God gave me time, a lot of time actually..time to lay on my left side on the coach & just pray - to surrender not only my will, but to lay down my husband, my children, my strive for perfection & my struggle with daily failure, my earthly temptations & my "heaven is my home" desires... and it lead me to a place where I knew if God had been faithful to "move a mountain" & bring my husband to this conclusion then He would carry us through whatever else He brought our way. I knew He had already blessed us beyond what we could ask or imagine and we both knew we were capable of providing for another child financially, physically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually - how could I ignore the millions of orphans who were in need of all of those very things??
So over the next months, despite bedrest, despite a newborn & all that brings, despite my body still recovering from the pregnancy, despite adjusting to life with 3 kids, etc., we have continued to feel that pull. It's hard to describe really unless you've been through it - almost like this "nagging thought" that there is a little boy out there who, perhaps despite not realizing it yet, is waiting for you... and kind-of like this "itching feeling" to hurry up & get there to him, whoever/wherever he is. So months & months later, we have finally decided where to adopt from & which agency to adopt with. This process will continue to take time, lots & lots of time; which means it will also be another "thing" in my life to strip me of my desire to control time. (I anticipate this being one of my greatest struggles in my journey against time thus far.) If you are looking for concrete numbers, we are most likely looking at 12-18 months until we arrive back on US soil with our new son in our arms. (yep, I'm getting that itching feeling in my arms again just imagining that homecoming!!!) And if you want to know what you can do during that time, you can pray - pray that God's will would be done in our family... pray that we wouldn't be afraid, but that in faith we would take a step, and another, and another...pray for the little one that is waiting - for health physically, emotionally & spiritually.
Well, whew... you made it to the end of my first post! Thanks for hanging in there; we appreciate all who take the time to keep up with us through this blog. You may have a dozen questions & I hope to answer some of them during my next posts. For now, we hope you'll join us in eagerly anticipating the arrival of the next "T" "J" Rupp!!
Well, whew... you made it to the end of my first post! Thanks for hanging in there; we appreciate all who take the time to keep up with us through this blog. You may have a dozen questions & I hope to answer some of them during my next posts. For now, we hope you'll join us in eagerly anticipating the arrival of the next "T" "J" Rupp!!
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