Ok, so a little over a week ago, I wrote the "Words" post. If I was smart, I would know how to just type the word "here" & you would click on it & it would take you to that post in case you didn't read that one yet, but here's the deal.... I'm not smart. At least not in terms of blogs & internet & technology - and some would argue that I'm just not smart, but again... that's a whole 'nother post....
So, here's the 2 things I was reminded of after I wrote the "Words" post....
First, I do & feel SO much better when I actually learn to express my feelings - whether verbally or writtenly.... (and yes, spell check, I again realize that is not a word, but this is where my smarts are again showing - I cannot think of how else to say that word....if someone has an idea, feel free to let me know - in a kind way please & thank you!).... Anyway, this was a lesson I started learning a little over a year ago - for some reason in the past it was working for me just to bottle up & not talk about my own feelings, to just "power through", but I think in anyone's life that is only going to work for so long.... For me, it fell apart having my littlest- things weren't going so well during that pregnancy & after, & I finally learned that if I told my hubby how I was really feeling, I felt better (& our marriage got better too - added BONUS!)....
Second, I did some major talking to the Lord. This is another thing I have had to grow in - I've always loved to read my Bible - I mean I go through ups & downs of actually taking the time to do it, but once I start back up again, I actually just crave reading it & learning from it (see? I do have a bit of smarts about me!). But to take the time to be still? to not only talk to the Lord but to be still before Him? Well, that's a toughie for me... But I took some time to do that - to quiet myself before Him & to just tell Him little things like:
"I trust you." ......
"I know you love me."....
"I know you have a special place in your heart for orphans & you honor the requests of those who want to give them forever families."......
"I know you know the desires of our family's heart.".......
(And if I wasn't sitting in McDonald's on a lunch break from teaching, I would take the time to type out all the verses that back up all I just said, but I am.... sitting in McDonald's that is.....& freezing by the way - just literally shaking from the cold. Thanks for the Wi-Fi, but could I get a little heat in here?!?!)
Anyway, remembering those things always bring me out of myself & back to the Prince of Peace & geez, aren't there just days that you want that so, so bad????
I mean, seriously, I HATE it when people tell me God is a "crutch" & again, could totally do a tangent on that one because it's one of the most ignorant things someone can say, but then, you know what? On the other hand, sometimes I guess I just NEED a "crutch", don't you?!?!?! I mean, aren't there days in your life that you just want to lean on something, someone, some "other" than yourself?!?!?! And you hardly feel like putting another foot in front of the other because it's quite possible without that "crutch" you would fall to the ground?!?!?!
I have days that like that. And a week ago, I had a few days like that. And I had to get out my "crutch" because without it I wanted to just sit & fall & wallow. And you know what, thank GOD for a "crutch"!
So in the past week, I've re-learned those 2 lessons that I should have learned awhile ago (not sure why this whole "smarts" thing keeps coming up this post, but it does....).
Yesterday helped too - Yesterday we spent an hour - yes a FULL HOUR on the phone with our Ghana program coordinator from Dillon. First off I would just like to say, God bless GameCube & "screen time" as we call it which kept my kids distracted enough that Ryan & I could actually have an adult conversation on the phone with another adult (nearly a miracle, I'm telling you....). Second, God bless Dillon International & our coordinator. LOVE, LOVE this agency & her!! I cannot tell you how many times I think this - in a country without "rules & regulations" & where you get to choose whether you will live a life of integrity or deceit, they are doing things RIGHT & we are beyond grateful for that!! It's why leaving our agency will be the LAST RESORT for us.
(OK - side note - I have decided that McDonald's is blowing cold air in here to get us to by their coffee. Which is so underhanded..... but it is SO working!!!)
So, our coordinator spends an hour talking to us about the state of international adoption in Ghana. Things are tough right now, yes, but they are tough everywhere... & doors are not shutting in Ghana right now... YET. Will it happen? Maybe.... Will it happen in the next year? Maybe, but it's not looking that way right now. Is Ghana a program for older kids right now? YES - really always has been. BUT - Is a 3 year old considered an older kid? YES.
Another God thing that happened was yesterday I had to make a quick run to Wal-Mart & I truly believe it was NOT a coincidence that I ran into our friend from church who is also in the process of adopting from Ghana (with another agency). She is a bit more adoption-experienced than we are, so she said to make sure we asked our coordinator about the other 2 families ahead of us on the referral list (remember we are number 3). I never would have thought to ask this & guess what?? The other 2 families ahead of us are looking for older children (5 & up) & one of them really prefers a girl..... Do you know what this means???? This means that the next 3 year old boy that comes up could very likely end up being referred to us! And the likelihood that it will happen within the next 12 months isn't that crazy to imagine......
And I type this long post, shaking like a leaf in McDonalds, not as just a reminder on this crazy journey, but to encourage you that God is working - He is always working!! In fact (as my small group study reminded me last week) in Isaiah, it says He is actually sitting on His Throne working.... He is not wringing His hands in worry; He is not pacing wondering what to do next; He doesn't have His finger to His head trying to come up with a new plan because international adoption is slowing down. HE IS WORKING! And He is working for my good & His glory..... And He is working because He loves me.
Wow..... I am so grateful..... and also so cold, so very, very cold...
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Why I hope my kids grow up to be Ugly Nerds....
Ok, confession time...
Most days I pray that my kids grow up to be ugly.... or nerds.... or even better.... ugly nerds.
Before you decide I'm an awful mother, unfit for adopting another child, hang with me....
Many moms wish for the popular thing for their kids. And let's be honest, they aren't even wishing for the "I hope my kid is well-liked by all" type of popular. They are secretly hoping their kids make the "popular group" system that is found in every school, every age, and every class (this means they hope this in their mind, but don't say it out loud). And, let's be even more honest.... hate to break it to you moms.... but.... it's not that much of a secret. We all see you & we all get it. You are grooming your kid for popularity. It's not just an "I hope she has on the cutest clothes" or "I just want him to have the cutest haircut" anymore - - it's more like "I put her in both dance & cheerleading at 5 so she is in all the right things to 'succeed'" (& here, I'm starting to question your definition of success because is learning a victory chant to a cheer really the most successful thing you could do for your kid??) or it's like "We are discouraging his interest in playing the trombone & hoping he starts getting the hang of basketball, third try around...." (Let's just call it what it is... you think marching band is for "geeks" so you want to foster his other "gifts".) Yep, those are the "many moms" that I'm talking about - "whatever we can do to prep him for popularity, let's make sure we do it" moms....(incidentally, I have nothing against dance, cheerleading, basketball, instruments or anything else of the sort!!)
There's another group of many moms.... These are the ones who wish for the "most beautiful" for their kids... To be fair, we as parents are automatically conditioned for this at the get-go. Consider how many babies are termed "The Most Beautiful Baby in the World" just minutes after birth. Never mind that they are covered in fuzz.... Never mind that they have a wax coating on top of that fuzz... Never mind that they are red & screaming with an incredibly angry look of despair on their face... Never mind that their heads are shaped like cones.... they are "Truly the most beautiful baby I have seen in a long, long time... maybe even ever....and to think they are mine! Isn't it amazing???"
(And just so we are all clear, I should know all about these things because, you guessed it - I have birthed the 3 most beautiful babies this world has ever seen.... )
But this is going beyond - "you're so beautiful because you are my child" type of thing... This is the "What can I do to insure you are the most beautiful when compared to all the other children" type of thing....It's beyond cute clothes, cute hair - it's make-up at age 7, it's lifting weights at age 8, it's encouraging a boob job or a nose job or whatever else as a 16th birthday gift because if you only had that, then you, dear child, will have arrived at the "Most Beautiful" status where all the boys want you & all the girls want to BE you....
And while it's true that I perhaps exaggerated at parts of those examples, the majority of those examples are all very, very sadly, true.
Which leads me to my hope for ugly nerds.
I work in junior high & senior high schools now. I'm an RN with her BSN working as a nurse educator for the WPC talking in the schools about HPV & other STDs... (No, seriously, I am...)
So, I work with teens a lot & try to keep up with teen talk, which generally goes okay because I'm learning that they actually WANT to talk about this stuff with someone who won't get all uptight on them & will just listen & care.... But I digress...
The fact of the matter is that the more research I do for my job & the more I find out about what teens are facing now-a-days (yes, even when compared to the little over 10 years since I was a teen... did I say 10???? I'm sure I just meant 5..... yes, 5, I'm positive.... ), the more I realize that I'd rather my kids just be ugly nerds. I just think it's easier all the way around....
Okay, truthfully, I DO want them to be beautiful. But the whole mom thing means I reserve the right to always think they are beautiful, even when, as one 7th grade student told me today, "volcanoes erupt" on their face.... bless his dear face... (did I say face? I meant his heart, yes, his dear heart.....poor kid). And when I watch teens at school sometimes I think, I truly think, the pretty ones always have a much harder time.... harder to remember what's important & what matters.... harder to fend off the grabs & jabs of the guys who are still really maturing (that's a nice way to put it, isn't it??).
And, truthfully, I DO want them to be popular. At least in terms of what being popular really means - I want them to be well-liked by the jocks, the bandies, the singers, the honors kids, the losers - by ALL the kids.... BUT (& it's a big BUT) I don't want them to be well-liked because they fit into any of those things....because in the end, how much do those things matter??? I mean, really matter??? Are we defined by those things??? Sometimes what I just want to share with the teens I teach is that what you DO does NOT define you, it's who you ARE that defines you! In other words, it will ALWAYS be more important to figure out the BEING rather than the doing.... The doing comes. In fact, you have years ahead for doing, but if you don't figure out who you are - well, that's when you end up in trouble....So if you're doing to DO, then make sure you are learning to BE at the same time.
So, see, sometimes it feels like just having ugly nerds would be a lot easier!!
Anyway, at the end of it all, these are my dreams for my kids - not to be the most popular but to treat everyone justly & fairly.... to have wisdom about what is right & wrong & good & bad (because there IS such a thing as all 4 of those....).
These are my dreams for my kids - not to be the prettiest, but to love kindness & mercy..... to show compassion to everyone, but especially those who hurt, who are outcast, who are having a bad day or don't feel like they fit in because of the volcanoes on their face, their frizzy hair, the glasses on their face, their awkward 2 left feet or whatever else makes them feel "out" (& especially the kid who has all 4 of those!!!!)
These are my dreams for my kids - not to chase after things that are temporary & don't last but to be
humble... to consider others better than themselves & to therefore show respect & honor to everyone regardless of color, class, or any other way we try to segregate each other.
And if it turns out they are ugly nerds in the process, well, maybe it will protect them a bit along the way, and for sure... well, for sure, they will always be MY ugly nerds.
Most days I pray that my kids grow up to be ugly.... or nerds.... or even better.... ugly nerds.
Before you decide I'm an awful mother, unfit for adopting another child, hang with me....
Many moms wish for the popular thing for their kids. And let's be honest, they aren't even wishing for the "I hope my kid is well-liked by all" type of popular. They are secretly hoping their kids make the "popular group" system that is found in every school, every age, and every class (this means they hope this in their mind, but don't say it out loud). And, let's be even more honest.... hate to break it to you moms.... but.... it's not that much of a secret. We all see you & we all get it. You are grooming your kid for popularity. It's not just an "I hope she has on the cutest clothes" or "I just want him to have the cutest haircut" anymore - - it's more like "I put her in both dance & cheerleading at 5 so she is in all the right things to 'succeed'" (& here, I'm starting to question your definition of success because is learning a victory chant to a cheer really the most successful thing you could do for your kid??) or it's like "We are discouraging his interest in playing the trombone & hoping he starts getting the hang of basketball, third try around...." (Let's just call it what it is... you think marching band is for "geeks" so you want to foster his other "gifts".) Yep, those are the "many moms" that I'm talking about - "whatever we can do to prep him for popularity, let's make sure we do it" moms....(incidentally, I have nothing against dance, cheerleading, basketball, instruments or anything else of the sort!!)
There's another group of many moms.... These are the ones who wish for the "most beautiful" for their kids... To be fair, we as parents are automatically conditioned for this at the get-go. Consider how many babies are termed "The Most Beautiful Baby in the World" just minutes after birth. Never mind that they are covered in fuzz.... Never mind that they have a wax coating on top of that fuzz... Never mind that they are red & screaming with an incredibly angry look of despair on their face... Never mind that their heads are shaped like cones.... they are "Truly the most beautiful baby I have seen in a long, long time... maybe even ever....and to think they are mine! Isn't it amazing???"
(And just so we are all clear, I should know all about these things because, you guessed it - I have birthed the 3 most beautiful babies this world has ever seen.... )
But this is going beyond - "you're so beautiful because you are my child" type of thing... This is the "What can I do to insure you are the most beautiful when compared to all the other children" type of thing....It's beyond cute clothes, cute hair - it's make-up at age 7, it's lifting weights at age 8, it's encouraging a boob job or a nose job or whatever else as a 16th birthday gift because if you only had that, then you, dear child, will have arrived at the "Most Beautiful" status where all the boys want you & all the girls want to BE you....
And while it's true that I perhaps exaggerated at parts of those examples, the majority of those examples are all very, very sadly, true.
Which leads me to my hope for ugly nerds.
I work in junior high & senior high schools now. I'm an RN with her BSN working as a nurse educator for the WPC talking in the schools about HPV & other STDs... (No, seriously, I am...)
So, I work with teens a lot & try to keep up with teen talk, which generally goes okay because I'm learning that they actually WANT to talk about this stuff with someone who won't get all uptight on them & will just listen & care.... But I digress...
The fact of the matter is that the more research I do for my job & the more I find out about what teens are facing now-a-days (yes, even when compared to the little over 10 years since I was a teen... did I say 10???? I'm sure I just meant 5..... yes, 5, I'm positive.... ), the more I realize that I'd rather my kids just be ugly nerds. I just think it's easier all the way around....
Okay, truthfully, I DO want them to be beautiful. But the whole mom thing means I reserve the right to always think they are beautiful, even when, as one 7th grade student told me today, "volcanoes erupt" on their face.... bless his dear face... (did I say face? I meant his heart, yes, his dear heart.....poor kid). And when I watch teens at school sometimes I think, I truly think, the pretty ones always have a much harder time.... harder to remember what's important & what matters.... harder to fend off the grabs & jabs of the guys who are still really maturing (that's a nice way to put it, isn't it??).
And, truthfully, I DO want them to be popular. At least in terms of what being popular really means - I want them to be well-liked by the jocks, the bandies, the singers, the honors kids, the losers - by ALL the kids.... BUT (& it's a big BUT) I don't want them to be well-liked because they fit into any of those things....because in the end, how much do those things matter??? I mean, really matter??? Are we defined by those things??? Sometimes what I just want to share with the teens I teach is that what you DO does NOT define you, it's who you ARE that defines you! In other words, it will ALWAYS be more important to figure out the BEING rather than the doing.... The doing comes. In fact, you have years ahead for doing, but if you don't figure out who you are - well, that's when you end up in trouble....So if you're doing to DO, then make sure you are learning to BE at the same time.
So, see, sometimes it feels like just having ugly nerds would be a lot easier!!
Anyway, at the end of it all, these are my dreams for my kids - not to be the most popular but to treat everyone justly & fairly.... to have wisdom about what is right & wrong & good & bad (because there IS such a thing as all 4 of those....).
These are my dreams for my kids - not to be the prettiest, but to love kindness & mercy..... to show compassion to everyone, but especially those who hurt, who are outcast, who are having a bad day or don't feel like they fit in because of the volcanoes on their face, their frizzy hair, the glasses on their face, their awkward 2 left feet or whatever else makes them feel "out" (& especially the kid who has all 4 of those!!!!)
These are my dreams for my kids - not to chase after things that are temporary & don't last but to be
humble... to consider others better than themselves & to therefore show respect & honor to everyone regardless of color, class, or any other way we try to segregate each other.
And if it turns out they are ugly nerds in the process, well, maybe it will protect them a bit along the way, and for sure... well, for sure, they will always be MY ugly nerds.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Words....
I'm a talker.... always have been...
I'm the type who has had to grow in learning the power of words - not that I don't use them, more that I do, & I want to be aware of the strength & effect those words have on others.
I tend to be an encourager, a "rock" as my college roommate used to call me (good things when you want to be a nurse....).... WAY better at dealing with others emotions & issues than my own - when it comes to my own, words seem to leave me....
And here's the thing about right now & how I'm feeling adoption-wise ...
I'm a mess.
Like truly, can't-form-words, mess....
I'm struggling to explain how I'm really feeling & it's partly because I'm struggling to figure it out myself. And perhaps, it's just that I'm a woman & we get emotional without knowing why sometimes (I know this was a big shock to all the men out there, so I'll give you a moment to get yourself back together.....AND......... moment's over.....)
But I'm starting to wonder if it's just part of this adoption journey & quite possibly I'm on the downward fall of the roller coaster.....
All along I've shared that Ghana is starting to slow down. Our hope had been that we would plug in to Ghana before it REALLY slowed down & for awhile, it seemed like that was happening - we were just ahead of the curve, so to speak.... But then the past 3 months as we've gotten letters from our agency, that curve has unfortunately been catching up to us.... The referral that was 6-9 months away became 9-12 & as of this past Friday, the referral that was 9-12 months away became 12 + months.... Worse than that was the news that our preferred age is not even a likely option for Ghana right now (a change since we started). As I type this, I am still processing all of this information - which means that it's still very raw to read, let alone type & I am literally shaking right now......
I'm not sure what it even means for us. Do we continue on with Ghana? Do we need to change countries? Do we need to change agencies? Do we need to change our age? Do we continue to dump money into something that isn't possible, let alone probable?
This is the scary part of adoption for people like me (read, Type A....).
I don't like the not-knowing. I don't like the no-control.... In fact, let's re-word those last sentences because I was WAY too nice there....
I HATE THE NOT KNOWING!!!!!!! I HATE THE NO CONTROL!!!!
(& Yes, that's how I really feel!)
It goes against so much of what I am & it truly is like a war inside of me....
I spent the weekend preparing for a big party at our house. And to all of those who came & will read this, I really did have fun & I really did enjoy having you here :o) .... BUT I have to be honest here as I keep this record of our journey...... As I cleaned my house & all our African trinkets & memories & pictures we have collected from trips there, silent tears were pouring down my face and it was all I could do not to burst into tears....
And when my son showed me his paper on Martin Luther King Jr. that compared his own life to MLK's & he wrote down that he has "2 sisters & 1 brother" & I tear up & think, "Really? You do? He's that much a part of you already that he's a brother???"
And when my kids start talking Friday night about getting married someday & how they plan to have one or 2 kids, but then to adopt like 2 or 3 more from a place where there are a lot of kids who don't have families, I cry & think "I'm proud of you, really I am, but because of all that is happening with international adoption, you may not even get that chance.... So someday you may WANT, really WANT to adopt a child to add to your family, but unless you adopt a newborn from the United States who has a mom who is absolutely sure she wants to give her child up for adoption & not just abort instead, you probably won't get that chance....."
So when you ask me how it's going & my eyes get red-rimmed as I tell you we are waiting & that the "plan" was to be half-way through by now, but it looks like we may be just at the beginning....
Well, ladies & gentlemen, this is how I'm really feeling....
discouraged, check....
frustrated, check....
disappointed, check....
confused, check....
angry, check....
heartbroken, check.....
And to be fair- we haven't even hit what could be the hard stuff yet. As I type this, there are families who are SO CLOSE to having their children from Ghana and are running into MAJOR problems - not just "I'm so sad our wait is getting longer" problems, but more like "We can't finalize the paperwork to bring our son home" kind-of problems...There are families who have been waiting over 3 years just for a referral - they have a child in their heart & for 3 years they have no idea who that child is - it's maddening to even think about...
But for right now, this is how I'm feeling.... this is where I'm at.... and this was my best attempt at putting words to my feelings.
I'm the type who has had to grow in learning the power of words - not that I don't use them, more that I do, & I want to be aware of the strength & effect those words have on others.
I tend to be an encourager, a "rock" as my college roommate used to call me (good things when you want to be a nurse....).... WAY better at dealing with others emotions & issues than my own - when it comes to my own, words seem to leave me....
And here's the thing about right now & how I'm feeling adoption-wise ...
I'm a mess.
Like truly, can't-form-words, mess....
I'm struggling to explain how I'm really feeling & it's partly because I'm struggling to figure it out myself. And perhaps, it's just that I'm a woman & we get emotional without knowing why sometimes (I know this was a big shock to all the men out there, so I'll give you a moment to get yourself back together.....AND......... moment's over.....)
But I'm starting to wonder if it's just part of this adoption journey & quite possibly I'm on the downward fall of the roller coaster.....
All along I've shared that Ghana is starting to slow down. Our hope had been that we would plug in to Ghana before it REALLY slowed down & for awhile, it seemed like that was happening - we were just ahead of the curve, so to speak.... But then the past 3 months as we've gotten letters from our agency, that curve has unfortunately been catching up to us.... The referral that was 6-9 months away became 9-12 & as of this past Friday, the referral that was 9-12 months away became 12 + months.... Worse than that was the news that our preferred age is not even a likely option for Ghana right now (a change since we started). As I type this, I am still processing all of this information - which means that it's still very raw to read, let alone type & I am literally shaking right now......
I'm not sure what it even means for us. Do we continue on with Ghana? Do we need to change countries? Do we need to change agencies? Do we need to change our age? Do we continue to dump money into something that isn't possible, let alone probable?
This is the scary part of adoption for people like me (read, Type A....).
I don't like the not-knowing. I don't like the no-control.... In fact, let's re-word those last sentences because I was WAY too nice there....
I HATE THE NOT KNOWING!!!!!!! I HATE THE NO CONTROL!!!!
(& Yes, that's how I really feel!)
It goes against so much of what I am & it truly is like a war inside of me....
I spent the weekend preparing for a big party at our house. And to all of those who came & will read this, I really did have fun & I really did enjoy having you here :o) .... BUT I have to be honest here as I keep this record of our journey...... As I cleaned my house & all our African trinkets & memories & pictures we have collected from trips there, silent tears were pouring down my face and it was all I could do not to burst into tears....
And when my son showed me his paper on Martin Luther King Jr. that compared his own life to MLK's & he wrote down that he has "2 sisters & 1 brother" & I tear up & think, "Really? You do? He's that much a part of you already that he's a brother???"
And when my kids start talking Friday night about getting married someday & how they plan to have one or 2 kids, but then to adopt like 2 or 3 more from a place where there are a lot of kids who don't have families, I cry & think "I'm proud of you, really I am, but because of all that is happening with international adoption, you may not even get that chance.... So someday you may WANT, really WANT to adopt a child to add to your family, but unless you adopt a newborn from the United States who has a mom who is absolutely sure she wants to give her child up for adoption & not just abort instead, you probably won't get that chance....."
So when you ask me how it's going & my eyes get red-rimmed as I tell you we are waiting & that the "plan" was to be half-way through by now, but it looks like we may be just at the beginning....
Well, ladies & gentlemen, this is how I'm really feeling....
discouraged, check....
frustrated, check....
disappointed, check....
confused, check....
angry, check....
heartbroken, check.....
And to be fair- we haven't even hit what could be the hard stuff yet. As I type this, there are families who are SO CLOSE to having their children from Ghana and are running into MAJOR problems - not just "I'm so sad our wait is getting longer" problems, but more like "We can't finalize the paperwork to bring our son home" kind-of problems...There are families who have been waiting over 3 years just for a referral - they have a child in their heart & for 3 years they have no idea who that child is - it's maddening to even think about...
But for right now, this is how I'm feeling.... this is where I'm at.... and this was my best attempt at putting words to my feelings.
Friday, January 4, 2013
AND.....
In my last post I shared our first round of disappointing news concerning our appointment for fingerprinting with USCIS. This is one of the last steps in line before putting together out dossier to be sent to Ghana, so we were definitely anxious to get it done... Well, I was what you would call anxious, & Ryan was more just wanting it to get done soon - and believe me, there's a difference between the two! :o)
So our first appointment was literally scheduled the day & time of our Firstborn's scheduled surgery to remove his tonsils & adenoids. It's a story that will only make this one longer, but we felt clear direction & peace that we needed to postpone that fingerprinting appointment for the surgery. So over 2 weeks ago, I sent in our request for another appointment. (I should mention that the fingerprinting office is similar to the DMV except that you can only be accepted if you have an appointment for that day & time - so it's really just that they give you an appointment & you have to go ...sans kids. And we were pretty prepared for that in terms of babysitting, Ryan getting off work & making the 2 1/2 hour trip up to the USCIS office,,.) On Wednesday I got our 2nd appointment & sure enough, it was scheduled for the a day, in a couple weeks, when Ryan was going to be traveling for work out-of-state. Well, I was not wanting to wait another 3 weeks or more for another appointment time that may or may not work because of Ryan's travel or whatever else... And in the meantime, we kept hearing about adopting families in similar situations who literally showed up at their local USCIS office without an appointment & prepared to wait all day to get "fitted in" to the schedule. So, we started looking at our weeks, wondering if it could be a possibility for us too.... After spending 1/2 a day on the phone to sitters & the national USCIS hotline - it was decided - we would head up Thursday night so we could be at center when the doors opened at 8am on Friday. Talk about rushing to get your things in order... and 3 kids things... one of whom is still technically recovering from surgery & in the midst of his hardest days... geez...
And this is where it gets to be another "Wow God" moment in our journey. I had many people praying for us (thank you, thank you if you were one of them!!!)- specifically that we would find favor with the people there & our trip would not be in vain. In the meantime, I was praying fervently for myself (nothing like being selfish, huh??) - that God's will would be done & He would prepare me for whatever that would mean (in other words, a "NO").
So, at 8:03am, after a quick prayer together, we walked in to a long line at the center. When we got to the front & explained our situation, we were met with a frowning receptionist who was not happy with us whatsoever. "No one gets in without an appointment" "We are way too busy with all the people who actually have appointments." "We only have 2 operators."
AND then ....eventually... the little glimmer of hope... "Well, I'll talk to the immigration office when he gets in, but I'm not promising anything." GREAT! We'll take it!!!
So we wait - maybe 5, 10 minutes & then in he walked. And people, this was a man with authority! Like he just oozed it... you know what I mean? He was a tall, broad, black man with an impeccable suit on & even a top hat - I mean, this guy had it together!! So he calls our name & right away, he basically shut us down - "Why can't you come to this appointment?" I explained that Ryan would be in Atlanta. "Well, there's an office in Atlanta; he can just go there." Except that we had to drive nearly 3 hours to get there today & that would mean I would need to come up on my own.... "Well, it's the holidays & we are short operators & you know, Obama's new allowance for the children of immigrants in jail to stay to get an education is making us very busy." (At this point imagine me just dramatically nodding, like, "Sure, I'm totally up on this new Obama-thing because never-mind that it's enough for me to keep up with ObamaCare & Fiscal Cliffs & Adoption Tax Credits - I'm also up on the immigrants who are in jail & on their children.....") And this is where I just start pleading our case, in essence, begging with tears in my eyes- "Please, we have tried to reschedule" "Please, we drove all this way" "Please, we will do whatever it takes & are prepared to stay literally all day!" (Ryan even was like, "When do you close?" "Okay, we can stay until then")
AND then...eventually... another little glimmer of hope... "Well, why don't you go get breakfast right now. It's just too busy right now but you can try to come back around 10 (it was 8:30am at that point). I'm not promising anything but we will have an hour in there that is usually slower, but it's possible you will still need to wait until the end of the day." Okay, then, you better believe we'll be back!!!
AND then, a bigger glimmer of hope... "You know, you might want to try an IHOP that isn't too far away - I can tell you how to get there."
At that point, I have to admit, I was actually feeling a bit hopeful - this guy softened enough to care about where we could go to eat??? It's quite possible he will care enough about getting us in at some point in the day... maybe...hopefully...prayerfully...
As we started driving I saw a Chick-fil-a not far down the road & Ryan said he'd rather just go there (I don't think either of our stomachs were ready for a big IHOP breakfast). So, we headed to Chick-fil-a, got a little breakfast & sat down with our I-phones ready for a wait (incidently, you couldn't have a cell phone in the USCIS office so we decided at least we were waiting somewhere we could use a phone to help pass the time!) And in that time I prayed for favor & mercy from all in that office...... And then I teared up as I thought of how humbling it is to plead your case before a man who has authority over such a big decision..... And then I realized that I am SO VERY GLAD that my Savior has redeemed my life & made it possible for me to someday, on the day I leave this Earth, stand before the Ultimate Authority & not have to beg & plead my case of why I deserve eternity with Him, but simply say "Jesus".... Oh, I am a blessed woman indeed....
So, a 1/2 hour passed by & Ryan just looked at me & said "I think we need to go back." Ummmm... but it's only 9am... "If we are going to be waiting, we should just be waiting there - even if it takes all day, even if we don't have a phone. We don't want to miss the opportunity that might come up, no matter when it is..." Ummmm...To be honest, this was one of those moments for me...the trust myself, the first-born, do-what-your-told-by-the-higher-ups, follow-the-rules kind-of girl OR trust my hubby, who is feeling convicted about something even if it isn't what we were told to do. And I'm happy to say I choose my husband, mainly because I could tell he felt strongly about it, but in my head I just figured we'd be sitting there an hour before the "magic 10am time". But you know what? My husband wasn't being a rule-breaker; no way, my husband was following the Spirit's leading. Because at that point we left the restaurant, drove to the office , walked back in & simply sat down. On Ryan's command, we didn't announce we were there (like I suggested so that they would for sure notice us.). We never got back in line (like I again stupidly suggested because perhaps, though the office is small, they won't realize we came back in?? HA! Perhaps someone has a trust-issue she needs to keep resolving... Um, not naming names, but perhaps....). So, we simply sat down to wait....
AND within 10 minutes we were called back up to the desk & given a stern "We never want to see you here again without an appointment. We do not do this without appointments, but the office said we can fit you in right now." JOY!!!
AND 20 minutes later we walked out of that building, our fingerprinting officially done!!!! (And I left a comment on a comment card thanking all of them for helping in a part of our journey & our future son's journey- a journey to bring an orphan into a forever family who is so ready to love on him!)
AND my mom texted me this "Thank You, God for Your faithful provision on behalf of our Grandson. Just one more God story of his journey to our family." (& thank you God for an amazing Grandma!!!)
AND I promise no more blog posts that keep starting so many paragraphs with the word "AND"....
(I seriously know my grammar teacher loves me... hmmmm, what was her name again??????)
So our first appointment was literally scheduled the day & time of our Firstborn's scheduled surgery to remove his tonsils & adenoids. It's a story that will only make this one longer, but we felt clear direction & peace that we needed to postpone that fingerprinting appointment for the surgery. So over 2 weeks ago, I sent in our request for another appointment. (I should mention that the fingerprinting office is similar to the DMV except that you can only be accepted if you have an appointment for that day & time - so it's really just that they give you an appointment & you have to go ...sans kids. And we were pretty prepared for that in terms of babysitting, Ryan getting off work & making the 2 1/2 hour trip up to the USCIS office,,.) On Wednesday I got our 2nd appointment & sure enough, it was scheduled for the a day, in a couple weeks, when Ryan was going to be traveling for work out-of-state. Well, I was not wanting to wait another 3 weeks or more for another appointment time that may or may not work because of Ryan's travel or whatever else... And in the meantime, we kept hearing about adopting families in similar situations who literally showed up at their local USCIS office without an appointment & prepared to wait all day to get "fitted in" to the schedule. So, we started looking at our weeks, wondering if it could be a possibility for us too.... After spending 1/2 a day on the phone to sitters & the national USCIS hotline - it was decided - we would head up Thursday night so we could be at center when the doors opened at 8am on Friday. Talk about rushing to get your things in order... and 3 kids things... one of whom is still technically recovering from surgery & in the midst of his hardest days... geez...
And this is where it gets to be another "Wow God" moment in our journey. I had many people praying for us (thank you, thank you if you were one of them!!!)- specifically that we would find favor with the people there & our trip would not be in vain. In the meantime, I was praying fervently for myself (nothing like being selfish, huh??) - that God's will would be done & He would prepare me for whatever that would mean (in other words, a "NO").
So, at 8:03am, after a quick prayer together, we walked in to a long line at the center. When we got to the front & explained our situation, we were met with a frowning receptionist who was not happy with us whatsoever. "No one gets in without an appointment" "We are way too busy with all the people who actually have appointments." "We only have 2 operators."
AND then ....eventually... the little glimmer of hope... "Well, I'll talk to the immigration office when he gets in, but I'm not promising anything." GREAT! We'll take it!!!
So we wait - maybe 5, 10 minutes & then in he walked. And people, this was a man with authority! Like he just oozed it... you know what I mean? He was a tall, broad, black man with an impeccable suit on & even a top hat - I mean, this guy had it together!! So he calls our name & right away, he basically shut us down - "Why can't you come to this appointment?" I explained that Ryan would be in Atlanta. "Well, there's an office in Atlanta; he can just go there." Except that we had to drive nearly 3 hours to get there today & that would mean I would need to come up on my own.... "Well, it's the holidays & we are short operators & you know, Obama's new allowance for the children of immigrants in jail to stay to get an education is making us very busy." (At this point imagine me just dramatically nodding, like, "Sure, I'm totally up on this new Obama-thing because never-mind that it's enough for me to keep up with ObamaCare & Fiscal Cliffs & Adoption Tax Credits - I'm also up on the immigrants who are in jail & on their children.....") And this is where I just start pleading our case, in essence, begging with tears in my eyes- "Please, we have tried to reschedule" "Please, we drove all this way" "Please, we will do whatever it takes & are prepared to stay literally all day!" (Ryan even was like, "When do you close?" "Okay, we can stay until then")
AND then...eventually... another little glimmer of hope... "Well, why don't you go get breakfast right now. It's just too busy right now but you can try to come back around 10 (it was 8:30am at that point). I'm not promising anything but we will have an hour in there that is usually slower, but it's possible you will still need to wait until the end of the day." Okay, then, you better believe we'll be back!!!
AND then, a bigger glimmer of hope... "You know, you might want to try an IHOP that isn't too far away - I can tell you how to get there."
At that point, I have to admit, I was actually feeling a bit hopeful - this guy softened enough to care about where we could go to eat??? It's quite possible he will care enough about getting us in at some point in the day... maybe...hopefully...prayerfully...
As we started driving I saw a Chick-fil-a not far down the road & Ryan said he'd rather just go there (I don't think either of our stomachs were ready for a big IHOP breakfast). So, we headed to Chick-fil-a, got a little breakfast & sat down with our I-phones ready for a wait (incidently, you couldn't have a cell phone in the USCIS office so we decided at least we were waiting somewhere we could use a phone to help pass the time!) And in that time I prayed for favor & mercy from all in that office...... And then I teared up as I thought of how humbling it is to plead your case before a man who has authority over such a big decision..... And then I realized that I am SO VERY GLAD that my Savior has redeemed my life & made it possible for me to someday, on the day I leave this Earth, stand before the Ultimate Authority & not have to beg & plead my case of why I deserve eternity with Him, but simply say "Jesus".... Oh, I am a blessed woman indeed....
So, a 1/2 hour passed by & Ryan just looked at me & said "I think we need to go back." Ummmm... but it's only 9am... "If we are going to be waiting, we should just be waiting there - even if it takes all day, even if we don't have a phone. We don't want to miss the opportunity that might come up, no matter when it is..." Ummmm...To be honest, this was one of those moments for me...the trust myself, the first-born, do-what-your-told-by-the-higher-ups, follow-the-rules kind-of girl OR trust my hubby, who is feeling convicted about something even if it isn't what we were told to do. And I'm happy to say I choose my husband, mainly because I could tell he felt strongly about it, but in my head I just figured we'd be sitting there an hour before the "magic 10am time". But you know what? My husband wasn't being a rule-breaker; no way, my husband was following the Spirit's leading. Because at that point we left the restaurant, drove to the office , walked back in & simply sat down. On Ryan's command, we didn't announce we were there (like I suggested so that they would for sure notice us.). We never got back in line (like I again stupidly suggested because perhaps, though the office is small, they won't realize we came back in?? HA! Perhaps someone has a trust-issue she needs to keep resolving... Um, not naming names, but perhaps....). So, we simply sat down to wait....
AND within 10 minutes we were called back up to the desk & given a stern "We never want to see you here again without an appointment. We do not do this without appointments, but the office said we can fit you in right now." JOY!!!
AND 20 minutes later we walked out of that building, our fingerprinting officially done!!!! (And I left a comment on a comment card thanking all of them for helping in a part of our journey & our future son's journey- a journey to bring an orphan into a forever family who is so ready to love on him!)
AND my mom texted me this "Thank You, God for Your faithful provision on behalf of our Grandson. Just one more God story of his journey to our family." (& thank you God for an amazing Grandma!!!)
AND I promise no more blog posts that keep starting so many paragraphs with the word "AND"....
(I seriously know my grammar teacher loves me... hmmmm, what was her name again??????)
Sunday, December 30, 2012
And we're going to add another one???
So the past week was like the downward fall from a fun high.... Sonshine had surgery on Dec. 26th to remove his tonsils & adenoids. This was expected. In fact, we had to change our fingerprinting appointment with USCIS to fit in this surgery (which was such a bummer, but God gave a peace that it was the right decision & we are currently awaiting our new appointment time.)
Anyway, we knew this surgery was coming. We got back from Christmas with Ryan's family on Christmas Eve just to have time on Christmas Day to be together & get used to the idea of surgery the next day (Sonshine tends to be my worrier.... don't ask where he got that....). Of course the surgery day itself was a long day (would love to find one surgeon that actually starts on time...), but the recovery for this is what's longer. He can't play actively for 2 full weeks - can you imagine? A boy not being able to play for 2 weeks??? This is a big struggle for my boy who since birth has been extremely active & is very sports oriented. Plus we have worked hard to not make him "video-game" oriented which overall is great, but for the first time in our lives, I have wished that he had a DS or something like that to play with so he could pass the time!! Anyway, beyond that restriction, he is on a semi-liquid diet for this week AND I have to sleep in with him for this week to monitor his breathing, pain, any bleeding, etc. (plus make sure that he doesn't keep flopping over on his stomach with his neck stuck up on his pillow at some crazy angle....I'm sure they just forgot to mention that in the post-op instructions.)
And this is where the story gets a bit unbelievable.... After weeks of getting healthy & past walking pneumonia, strep throat & ear infections earlier in the month, we were there - or so I thought.... Enter Thursday.... Day 1 post-op.... My mom came to watch my older 2 so I could take Baby Girl to the doctor, & low & behold, a double-ear infection. Again, no surprise really.... By Kid #3 (older 2 with tubes by 12 months), we have the ear infections symptoms of our kiddos down flat (because you know they don't follow "textbook ear infection symptoms" - that would be WAY too easy!) In the meantime, I was fending off a sinus infection brought on by allergies (again, fairly typical for me). But so far this is all expected stuff, so enter.... SURPRISE!!!
At 11:30pm that night, my Precious Girl is screaming for mommy in the hallway, so I run out of the twin bed that I'm sleeping on in Sonshine's room & she tells me she "spit up" in her room.... As I take a moment to process what that means & then start the walk to her room, she pukes right between her & I, blocking my way to her room. "Okay," I think, "Just stay calm & try to get her to a bathroom." So I reach over the puke (I'm in my bare feet & there is NO WAY I am going to step in that chunky stuff...) & I turn her towards our bathroom, which apparently stimulates her gag reflex again & she proceeds to vomit a circle, yes, a whole circle, around her body. And then she looks at me in one of those, "What are you going to do now Mommy?" looks, which of course means that I look back at her in my "I have no idea..." look. (Don't you love those looks?? It's like this defeating, "You thought I had all the answers but I don't" feeling & it is so. incredibly. helpless...) So I do the only thing I could think of in the moment - I start screaming for Ryan (who is sleeping down on the coach because he fell asleep to ESPN - I told him last night that this week of me sleeping with Sonshine means it's like his bachelor days!) He comes running, but you know, what is he going to do?? There is puke in a circle around my daughter & he starts gagging before he even makes it up to the 2nd floor. So that's it, decision time, & I just walk in it a bit, lift her up & over the circle so she can head to the bathroom & then proceed to gag my way through cleaning up puke in the hallway, then disinfecting the hallway twice, then making it to her bedroom where we find she has somehow managed to puke on both twin beds & even under one of the beds, so we clean that up & disinfect everything twice in there (with a trip to the cleaners for all her bedding), then I go back to the hallway to disinfect a 3rd time, not to mention disinfect myself somewhere along the way.... So after we cleaned it all up, Ryan gets one pukey kid, with a bucket, on the main floor....I have another with a cut-up throat & a bucket, in our twin beds... and there is a baby girl in her room alternating between coughs & cries & fending for herself. And then I lay down in my "snug" twin bed & think "Really??? I can do this??? I'm not going to be overwhelmed by this?? ........And I'm going to add to this???"
Hmmmmmmm......
Yep. I am.... And the truth is, I can't wait.... Bring it on! (And if You don't mind sending a little more immunity our way in the meantime, that would be an added bonus.....)
Anyway, we knew this surgery was coming. We got back from Christmas with Ryan's family on Christmas Eve just to have time on Christmas Day to be together & get used to the idea of surgery the next day (Sonshine tends to be my worrier.... don't ask where he got that....). Of course the surgery day itself was a long day (would love to find one surgeon that actually starts on time...), but the recovery for this is what's longer. He can't play actively for 2 full weeks - can you imagine? A boy not being able to play for 2 weeks??? This is a big struggle for my boy who since birth has been extremely active & is very sports oriented. Plus we have worked hard to not make him "video-game" oriented which overall is great, but for the first time in our lives, I have wished that he had a DS or something like that to play with so he could pass the time!! Anyway, beyond that restriction, he is on a semi-liquid diet for this week AND I have to sleep in with him for this week to monitor his breathing, pain, any bleeding, etc. (plus make sure that he doesn't keep flopping over on his stomach with his neck stuck up on his pillow at some crazy angle....I'm sure they just forgot to mention that in the post-op instructions.)
And this is where the story gets a bit unbelievable.... After weeks of getting healthy & past walking pneumonia, strep throat & ear infections earlier in the month, we were there - or so I thought.... Enter Thursday.... Day 1 post-op.... My mom came to watch my older 2 so I could take Baby Girl to the doctor, & low & behold, a double-ear infection. Again, no surprise really.... By Kid #3 (older 2 with tubes by 12 months), we have the ear infections symptoms of our kiddos down flat (because you know they don't follow "textbook ear infection symptoms" - that would be WAY too easy!) In the meantime, I was fending off a sinus infection brought on by allergies (again, fairly typical for me). But so far this is all expected stuff, so enter.... SURPRISE!!!
At 11:30pm that night, my Precious Girl is screaming for mommy in the hallway, so I run out of the twin bed that I'm sleeping on in Sonshine's room & she tells me she "spit up" in her room.... As I take a moment to process what that means & then start the walk to her room, she pukes right between her & I, blocking my way to her room. "Okay," I think, "Just stay calm & try to get her to a bathroom." So I reach over the puke (I'm in my bare feet & there is NO WAY I am going to step in that chunky stuff...) & I turn her towards our bathroom, which apparently stimulates her gag reflex again & she proceeds to vomit a circle, yes, a whole circle, around her body. And then she looks at me in one of those, "What are you going to do now Mommy?" looks, which of course means that I look back at her in my "I have no idea..." look. (Don't you love those looks?? It's like this defeating, "You thought I had all the answers but I don't" feeling & it is so. incredibly. helpless...) So I do the only thing I could think of in the moment - I start screaming for Ryan (who is sleeping down on the coach because he fell asleep to ESPN - I told him last night that this week of me sleeping with Sonshine means it's like his bachelor days!) He comes running, but you know, what is he going to do?? There is puke in a circle around my daughter & he starts gagging before he even makes it up to the 2nd floor. So that's it, decision time, & I just walk in it a bit, lift her up & over the circle so she can head to the bathroom & then proceed to gag my way through cleaning up puke in the hallway, then disinfecting the hallway twice, then making it to her bedroom where we find she has somehow managed to puke on both twin beds & even under one of the beds, so we clean that up & disinfect everything twice in there (with a trip to the cleaners for all her bedding), then I go back to the hallway to disinfect a 3rd time, not to mention disinfect myself somewhere along the way.... So after we cleaned it all up, Ryan gets one pukey kid, with a bucket, on the main floor....I have another with a cut-up throat & a bucket, in our twin beds... and there is a baby girl in her room alternating between coughs & cries & fending for herself. And then I lay down in my "snug" twin bed & think "Really??? I can do this??? I'm not going to be overwhelmed by this?? ........And I'm going to add to this???"
Hmmmmmmm......
Yep. I am.... And the truth is, I can't wait.... Bring it on! (And if You don't mind sending a little more immunity our way in the meantime, that would be an added bonus.....)
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
My one regret this Christmas......
Merry Christmas from our family to yours!!
Every year I try to get a Christmas Card out.... I usually alternate years with pictures of just the kids & pictures of our whole family. This year was a "whole family" year. This meant 2 things: First, I would have to get in the picture (not my favorite thing to do, especially when I have yet to really lose the weight I gained from my last pregnancy which is Resolution Number 1 for 2013!). Second, we had to try to get everyone looking at the camera & smiling (we got pretty close as you can see but there again something about going beyond 2 children that makes this A LOT harder!!).
Thankfully, we are blessed to have a really good photographer in the family (my sister whom I dearly love!!). She always worries that I'm going to be disappointed, but the truth is, I couldn't be disappointed because she just has "it" - the ability to look into her camera & make amazing shots happen. With digital cameras, it feels like everyone can be a photographer these days, but Jaime is able to see things differently than "everyone" & her pictures are always fantastic! For example, she found our background this year downtown on the side of an old building & then knew just how to pose us to make it work. Quite a talented sister I have! If I could fly her to Ghana with us to document our journey down there, I totally would (but sorry sis, I wouldn't count on it!!)
But the truth is I have one regret about our card - it's not the picture, but more the card in general. In previous posts I've mentioned that not a day goes by that Ryan & I aren't thinking of "him" - our little son who is already in our hearts, but yet to be in our arms...
Well, the day we took our picture, I couldn't get him out of my mind. Yeah, I smiled when she said to "Smile" but I kept thinking how I wished he was there. I would wish it when I was telling all the kids to just keep looking at the camera & to just keep smiling no matter what little T did...
I would wish it when I told everyone that it didn't matter how much if felt like they were going to fall over or their knees hurt in the position they were put in.... (So yeah, our card said "Peace, Love, Family" & it's quite possible that it wasn't all together peaceful as we tried to get 5 people posed & smiling at the camera, but we still can hope for it, right???) :o)
I thought of him when I got the card & saw it & felt like someone was missing...
I thought of him as I figured out what to write on the card...
And then I decided to not write anything about him....
It's my one regret this Christmas.
As I've said before, essentially adoption is like being pregnant for this very, very long time - (at least that's what it feels like to us!).... But what's different this time around is that no one can see the baby growing inside my belly & heart.... So I know people look at us, look at me, & they don't get it - maybe they forget or don't know or whatever - but truth is, I'm carrying a baby in my heart & mind 24/7! And I get it why it's not something they think about the way we do, I really do...and so... well, I think that's why I did it - why I decided not to write about him on our card. Because I didn't want it to seem like I was obsessing, or not thankful for the ones I've been given, or like I have to keep throwing it in people's face to remind them when after 6 months, people often are like "Isn't he going to be here soon?" or "What's taking so long?" (& most of the time, I'm thinking "LONG?? Ha!! We're just getting started people! YOU think it feels long? Try walking in our shoes - thinking about it every day & knowing that if maybe, just maybe, everything goes smooth from here on out, we could be having him home NEXT Christmas.... as in 12 more months... as in this is the longest, hardest pregnancy of our lives!!!!!!")
And so I didn't write about him....
and it's my one regret this Christmas...
and if I could have a do-over, my card would read something like this on the back:
"From our Family to your Family: May you have a blessed holiday season... & despite the fact that it might be another year or even longer, would you still continue to join with us in praying our little son home from Ghana? Without a face or name, he has somehow already occupied a place in our hearts & we look forward to someday introducing him to you when he arrives home with his forever family!!"
No regrets anymore... Merry Christmas little one... You are greatly loved....
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
6 months later...
Well, we are at our 6 month "anniversary" of officially starting paperwork for our adoption. And truthfully, we are at least a good one year into the dreaming of it.... And today I can announce that we are OFFICIALLY ON THE REFERRAL LIST!! Yeah!!!!!!
While it's super exciting to know we made it this far, there is also this feeling of... well, like a long exhale - a big sigh of contented-ness & resigned-ness at the same time (Yes, spell-check & all you English majors out there, I am completely aware those are not real words.... Sometimes you just need to make up words to help get your point across, k??) :o)
We really are excited to feel like we are getting somewhere, but this month we also received word from our coordinator at our agency that Ghana truly is "slowing down" in terms of international adoption. We are thankful for every step made to ensure adoptions from international countries are being done ethically & morally in the best interest of all those involved, but does it grieve our hearts to hear that the 6-9 month referral wait that we heard about 6 months ago is now looking like 12 months?... Yes... very much so... Our hearts are with our son - whoever & wherever he may be. It's difficult to explain really unless you've been there, but it always amazes me to see how the Spirit is working in the hearts of Ryan & I & our children. Our oldest, was giving out kisses & hugs the other night around the dinner table. As he finished those he could see, he lifted up his little arms to the sky & said he was giving them out to his brother-to-be, wherever he might be..... It's moments like that which remind me that GOD is the one doing this - only He can bring about a love like that for a little boy we have never even met.
Would you join us in praying that we would see the completion (in this case the arrival of our son on US soil) of our journey sooner rather than later? That God would continue to move the people of Ghana to recognize the benefits of International Adoption & not be scared about the few questionable cases, but to be committed to searching out families who truly desire to love on & protect & provide a forever home/family to a child in need....
Here is where we are specifically for those who are wanting to know:
Our i-600a is sent off to USCIS as of today. We are working to gather all the paperwork for our dossier in the meantime (although a lot of that was already done). We are Number 3 on the Referral List in our small program within our agency. They have purposely protected the Ghana program by keeping it small - they only accept certain families & a certain number of families. The 2 families before us have been waiting over 6 months.
Lastly, I want to share a story as a recorded memory of this journey... Yesterday, we had to get some paperwork notarized to send with our i-600a. It's a longer story, but if we didn't get it notarized yesterday we would have had to wait until next week & everyone who has been through the adoption process understands the feeling urgency you have to do everything you can personally do as quickly as possible because then you are very dependent on others who have lots of other paperwork to get through!! So, around 10:45am I found out that the notary who we use at the library was unavailable yesterday - like all day unavailable. So I sent a FB shout-out to see if anyone could help. I forgot to mention that we only had a small window of time that we could meet with someone (had to be between noon & 12:15 - weren't trying to be picky, just had a crazy day scheduled!) so time was a factor, but you can't really call up a notary & say "Drop everything so we can be there at noon."
Anyway, within minutes my home phone & cell phone starting ringing & I got like 6 comments on the FB thread with leads for a notary!! A friend of our families called & had literally nearly set everything up for us if we could be there soon, say around noon?? :o) "Why, yes, yes that would be perfect!" Did I mention it was with the Chief of Police?? So, I had an appointment set up for us with the Chief of Police within about 10 minutes & a list of 3 other notaries who were friends or acquaintances!!! Here's what came to me as I drove away from that meeting with the Chief of Police whose notary license doesn't expire until Dec. 2016 (another very important piece of the puzzle that I wasn't sure would fall into place until we met him).... God knows..... This is no happen-stance, no coincidence. If we had still been living in Indy going through this process, there is NO WAY everything would have been worked out within 10 minutes ready for the exact time we needed it, for free.... This happens when you live in small town & everyone you know knows everyone else you need to know and they implicitly trust each other. "Oh, your wallet is lost? Ok, well do you have another form of picture ID, if not, it's okay, just show me all you've got..." (We remembered I had my passport thankfully!! And as a side note - if you want to pray with me about my missing wallet that would be awesome - and I promise I'm not being cheeky when I say that - I am really praying for clarity to figure out where that dumb, important thing is!!!) I'm thankful that we are in Morton for such a time as this!!
While it's super exciting to know we made it this far, there is also this feeling of... well, like a long exhale - a big sigh of contented-ness & resigned-ness at the same time (Yes, spell-check & all you English majors out there, I am completely aware those are not real words.... Sometimes you just need to make up words to help get your point across, k??) :o)
We really are excited to feel like we are getting somewhere, but this month we also received word from our coordinator at our agency that Ghana truly is "slowing down" in terms of international adoption. We are thankful for every step made to ensure adoptions from international countries are being done ethically & morally in the best interest of all those involved, but does it grieve our hearts to hear that the 6-9 month referral wait that we heard about 6 months ago is now looking like 12 months?... Yes... very much so... Our hearts are with our son - whoever & wherever he may be. It's difficult to explain really unless you've been there, but it always amazes me to see how the Spirit is working in the hearts of Ryan & I & our children. Our oldest, was giving out kisses & hugs the other night around the dinner table. As he finished those he could see, he lifted up his little arms to the sky & said he was giving them out to his brother-to-be, wherever he might be..... It's moments like that which remind me that GOD is the one doing this - only He can bring about a love like that for a little boy we have never even met.
Would you join us in praying that we would see the completion (in this case the arrival of our son on US soil) of our journey sooner rather than later? That God would continue to move the people of Ghana to recognize the benefits of International Adoption & not be scared about the few questionable cases, but to be committed to searching out families who truly desire to love on & protect & provide a forever home/family to a child in need....
Here is where we are specifically for those who are wanting to know:
Our i-600a is sent off to USCIS as of today. We are working to gather all the paperwork for our dossier in the meantime (although a lot of that was already done). We are Number 3 on the Referral List in our small program within our agency. They have purposely protected the Ghana program by keeping it small - they only accept certain families & a certain number of families. The 2 families before us have been waiting over 6 months.
Lastly, I want to share a story as a recorded memory of this journey... Yesterday, we had to get some paperwork notarized to send with our i-600a. It's a longer story, but if we didn't get it notarized yesterday we would have had to wait until next week & everyone who has been through the adoption process understands the feeling urgency you have to do everything you can personally do as quickly as possible because then you are very dependent on others who have lots of other paperwork to get through!! So, around 10:45am I found out that the notary who we use at the library was unavailable yesterday - like all day unavailable. So I sent a FB shout-out to see if anyone could help. I forgot to mention that we only had a small window of time that we could meet with someone (had to be between noon & 12:15 - weren't trying to be picky, just had a crazy day scheduled!) so time was a factor, but you can't really call up a notary & say "Drop everything so we can be there at noon."
Anyway, within minutes my home phone & cell phone starting ringing & I got like 6 comments on the FB thread with leads for a notary!! A friend of our families called & had literally nearly set everything up for us if we could be there soon, say around noon?? :o) "Why, yes, yes that would be perfect!" Did I mention it was with the Chief of Police?? So, I had an appointment set up for us with the Chief of Police within about 10 minutes & a list of 3 other notaries who were friends or acquaintances!!! Here's what came to me as I drove away from that meeting with the Chief of Police whose notary license doesn't expire until Dec. 2016 (another very important piece of the puzzle that I wasn't sure would fall into place until we met him).... God knows..... This is no happen-stance, no coincidence. If we had still been living in Indy going through this process, there is NO WAY everything would have been worked out within 10 minutes ready for the exact time we needed it, for free.... This happens when you live in small town & everyone you know knows everyone else you need to know and they implicitly trust each other. "Oh, your wallet is lost? Ok, well do you have another form of picture ID, if not, it's okay, just show me all you've got..." (We remembered I had my passport thankfully!! And as a side note - if you want to pray with me about my missing wallet that would be awesome - and I promise I'm not being cheeky when I say that - I am really praying for clarity to figure out where that dumb, important thing is!!!) I'm thankful that we are in Morton for such a time as this!!
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