TRUTH is...
Have you heard this saying lately? I'm hearing it a lot, especially from teens... I've long said that this generation coming behind me is preoccupied with what I call "Realness" - telling the truth, the full truth & nothing but the truth is something they highly respect & admire over many other values. It's part of why I believe my job is effective not only in the Christian community but also in the inner city - if you can communicate Truth to teens in a loving way, they will listen...(notice I didn't say believe, but being willing to listen is a big step to getting to belief!) Anyway, getting way off track already...
So as we've been going through the past 2 months frantically doing paperwork (finished both our formal application with Dillon AND our homestudy in this time frame & are currently just waiting for the "big-wigs" to give us the A-OK on both of those. I love how I just simplified all the time we've spent on paperwork into one sentence!) Anyway, as we have gone through these past months I just keep thinking about this "Truth is..." statement in terms of adoption.
I think for a long time "telling the truth" about adoption hasn't been something you see too often from adoptees, adoptive families & even birth moms/dads (I would love to explore the reasons why, but way too long for a blog post right now). But as we have done a large majority of the paperwork & done hours of education to prepare (which is only the start!), I am more & more convinced of this - "Truth is.... Adoption is HARD." As in, not for the faint of heart-hard.... As in, bang your head against a wall-hard.... As in, cry yourself to sleep-hard....
Another part of truth for us is that Ryan & I have certainly gone into this with our eyes wide open. We knew it wasn't easy on so many levels, but as we have gone through all the fantastic education that Dillon requires for international adoption (one reason I LOVE Dillon & one that I think has made them so well-respected in terms of ethical adoptions), it's been clear to us that our goal of "intentional parenting" with our own children is just part of how "intentional" we will have to be with our adopted son. And then when I think of how we will have missed at least a year, two years, maybe even more of his life, which means we will have a lot of "learning" to do to figure out who he is, how to best love on him.... well, that starts the hard grieving process all over again for me. And sometimes when I think of his mom, I can hardly let my mind & heart go there because it's too hard...And then if I think of him - him who could be even now sitting in an orphanage waiting & soaking up every little bit of love & attention he can get - him who will arrive in a new country, new culture, new family - him who will always carry two moms in his heart - well, you can see where I'm going, can't you? ADOPTION IS HARD!! (And I haven't really spent too much time complaining about the paperwork, haven't really gone through the waiting yet, haven't really taken the first trip to meet our son only to leave him again until we can go back for him, haven't experienced leaving behind our 3 littles to go get him... again, do you hear where I'm going with this?)
And while truth can be scary sometimes, I've also learned that speaking truth is so, so healing!!
And in speaking truth, you can't forget to tell the FULL truth - you can't just tell the one side (in this case the scary, broken truth) - you have to tell every part of it. So here's the FULL truth.... Adoption. Is. Beautiful.... (big sigh) Like amazingly, beautiful....And our family is learning together (& taking our extended family & friends along with us on this journey) how beautiful it really is. "...the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship, And by Him we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15) "...He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure & will..." (Eph. 1:5) To be able to have a sense, a glimpse, of what God did for us through Jesus Christ because He was PLEASED to & He WANTED to... well, I have no words - just a heart of gratitude. I'm so thankful we are on this journey & I'm so thankful we are getting to experience the truth of adoption in all it's forms...
"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." (Martin Luther King Jr.)
