Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Another Conspiracy Theory...

On our Christmas card this year we included a beautiful quote I found by Hamilton Wright Mabie (Don't ask me who he is, just liked the quote!!
 "Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy on love."
     Don't you just love that?  My favorite part is the use of the word "conspiracy"... It makes me imagine an underground movement bent on secretly transforming the world.
     In actuality, the word itself is defined as a secret plot to do something unlawful.  At first this is a little off-putting, especially for a first-born, Type A, look like you have it together & "stay in line" kind-of-girl.
But on the other hand, it feels a little exciting & risque to be a part of it in a "I'm coming to get you" sort-of-way.
     Our nation is WAY too transfixed this holiday season with reality TV controversy, divisions that tear us apart, & definitions of self that end up limiting the whole of who we are that I think we are majorly missing out on something so fun and so incredibly sneaky about the "unlawfulness" of love.
     When God sent His Son, He sent Him to transform & to engage.  And while Scripture says He came to fulfill the law (Matthew 5:17),  it wasn't in the way that meet every politically & religiously correct idea that people expected & most ended up requiring to the point of death.  No, in fact, He came to break beyond the barrier of law.  Do you get how powerful this is???  In other words...
God started a big, unlawful conspiracy the night He sent His Son.
     But the word conspiracy also indicates a group of people all "in on it"; meaning it takes more than one person.  And while we can certainly say this conspiracy has grown over time, I'm not so sure that it's growing anymore.  It's like we somehow lost parts of it along the way.  I'm not sure if it's the divisiveness of the conspiracy (after all, Jesus walked into the temple & literally kicked people out who didn't have their hearts aligned with the heart of what God designed & purposed in what can be described as abrasive to say the least!!...Matthew 21:12) or if it's the extent of the conspiracy (For God so loved THE WORLD that He sent His Son!!... John 3:16), but somewhere along the way it's like we thought we have to have one or the other - either show our rebellious, divisive side or go over the top in a lovey, dovey "We Are The World" type of way.
Here's my deal:  What's so wrong about both???  I've seen it done.  It's just that it's getting kind-of rare.
    This past year, I've been praying that I would really learn how to do both really well, & it's still a big part of how I'm approaching this new year.  You see, it's not an overnight "Now I've got it!" type of thing.  It's a daily thing...And sometimes it's a "I messed up, I'm sorry" type of thing... But it's also a "get back up & try again" thing & a "live in the joy of it" type of thing.
And I for one am super excited to see what God can do with a life ready to join in on the conspiracy in 2014.


Monday, December 23, 2013

Changing Course... (kind-of)

(Below is an excerpt from a blog post I started on 7/24/13, but just now realized I never published.  As we approach yet another holiday without a firm "this is happening" in our adoption process, I'm reading it now realizing that 1) A lot of our friends in other states/countries may still not know the news below
(although I did make a mention of it in the "Open Hands" post you can read)  & 2)  It's all happening again - the changing course thing I mean (more to come on that)... & so because I want to keep our family & friends up to date & because I want to chronicle this journey, here it is...)

"In his heart a man plans his course, but it is the Lord who directs his steps."
Over a year ago we started this journey, not knowing how it would go exactly, but believing we would someday walk into our local airport holding our Ghanian son.  There was no indication when we started that we would be where we are now...
Now, we find ourselves on 2 lists in 2 different countries... but let me back up...
When the director of health suspended all adoptions within Ghana there was a lot of confusion over what authority she even had over adoption.  While we still have not heard why she decided to do this exactly, we do understand the confusion of authority because we have witnessed the confusion of power in Africa in general.  And let me tell you, it can get really confusing!!!  And the truth is, if it isn't handled right, it can get really scary... Ghana has a had a relative stable history in terms of peaceful government, and while the suspension has felt frustrating, ultimately we keep praying that the underlying tension will be worked out peacefully - no matter how long it takes.
But back to the suspension because while it is out there, many regional directors are still processing adoptions, so children who were already matched are still eventually getting visas to come home.  And we have even heard of a referral since this suspension.  In the past month, there has been a slowing down - or more careful review - throughout the visa process especially, & it's been sad to watch those we "know" in the Ghana-adopt world struggle through the longer wait of these months.  And just when it feels like the wait is going to go on forever, visas get processed & children come home & it's such a cause of celebration!
And in all of this, we kept wondering what OUR place was, where OUR son was....
If you've kept up on the blog, you probably read part of our "meantime" process.  Well, about 2 or 3 weeks ago we made a more final decision.  We signed on with Adoption Advocates International's Ethiopia program.  This checked all the boxes that I previously mentioned in our other posts, and in the end, though Ehtiopia had gone through a slow-down as they refined their adoption process, it has recovered well & in, what seems to be, a better place/way.  We were told that it would most likely be around 10 months (give or take) before we receive a referral.  I have to be honest though, we don't put a lot of stock into time-tables anymore.  When we started this process, it felt like we revolved around timetables- constantly asking people "How long did this part take?" "How long should we expect for that part?"  Part of our growth process has been learning to say "In Your timing Lord, not ours, not theirs, not anyone else's."   There are times that this hurts & feels really, really hard.  And to be complete honest, while I so often am shouting "Hallelujah!"s when I hear of another Ghanian orphan arriving home because it's an answer to many prayers, I fight back tears because I wish it was us.  I don't understand why we didn't start the process just a few months earlier, why we don't just up our age range & bring home an older child....  All options that would have been (or still are) available to us, but as we poured so much thought & prayer into this, this is where we felt God leading.  So here we go...
following...

(Today, 12/23/12, I'm reflecting on how much has changed.  Right now because of confidentiality reasons I can't explain much about the changes on our journey in the past month-plus... but yet so much of the above is still the same.  Still waiting.  Still perplexed as to how it will all turn out. And still following.  & so for those of you who are our praying friends, please keep praying for us - especially in the next month.  We have some big things happening regarding our adoption, & I will be anxious to share with you how God is leading when the time is right, but for now, just know we are very desperate for wisdom & guidance, and appreciate your prayers!)