Yesterday we lost our son's 3rd grade teacher tragically & unexpectedly. We only had him for 8 days but we learned so much.... Here are things he taught us:
1. To use the pronoun "we" in learning is acceptable.
Yes, my son was the one that sat in the classroom, but Mr. S had a way of bringing people in - and that included parents too. If you could know how many former students call him their "favorite teacher ever", you would also hear echoing behind them a mom, a dad, a grandparent "hands down favorite teacher ever". He looked into your eyes when he talked, he smiled A LOT, and he found a way to have a personal connection to everyone he talked with even the parents who didn't sit in the classroom. So, yea, "we" miss him already.
2. To not go "by the book" is ok.
We sat in Meet the Teacher, & over & over Mr. S. said "So we use this book & we will pull a lot from it, but I've found that kids learn best when we also supplement with this way too..." I mean every. single. subject. This pulled in my attention right away because first off, I'm a "by the book" momma (first-born & all), but also because I'm leary of the "this is our way" learning our school systems often get forced into. To find a teacher who found what was "best" using a variety of methods & a variety of books told my husband & I three things right away: First, Mr. S cared about what was best for our child. Second, Mr. S was going to put the time in even if it meant going beyond status quo. Third, Mr. S was going to be a phenomenal teacher. So, yea, we miss him already.
3. To show grace is a must & is an always.
It was the first Monday of school. So my son was on his 4th day with a new teacher, 4th day of 3rd grade, and he came home without his homework. (Insert big mom sigh right there.) This is my responsible, hardworking, never-miss-a-beat son. He has never forgotten. I was miffed "What do you mean you forgot?? How could you forget? Well (big harrumph of frustration), I will take you back to school this one time to get it but I'm not going to save you every time you do this son. You need to be responsible, blah, blah, blah."
We got back to the school & I started in again "Mr. S may still be in the classroom so what are you going to say if you see him?" (I'm thinking my son has never had this teacher & what will this teacher think of him now????)
"I will say I'm sorry, I won't do it again & does he forgive me?" said my son. I softened a bit - forgiveness forgetting a book?!?! I had probably been too harsh. "Ok, well just go get it," I replied.
When he came back into the van with the book, I asked if Mr. S was in the room. Of course he was. "So what did he say?"
"He said, 'Oh, buddy, it's okay. Everyone forgets things sometimes. Just today I forgot to do our spelling pretest. It's okay to forget."
I admit I was stunned. Stunned & ashamed. Showing grace? It shouldn't be so foreign to me. Like Mr. S, I am a part of God's family - claim Him as my Savior though acceptance of what Christ did on the cross. Why didn't grace roll off my tongue as easy? It should. Every day, every hour, every circumstance - it should. I vowed to not forget that act of grace & kindness, and we both left the building feeling refreshed by a teacher's gracious response.
So, yea, we really miss him already.
4. School should be fun.
Have you heard it said before? That school is a place for learning & what do the kids do in those buildings all day during that time & don't you think the time could be so much shorter if they just got the learning done & be done with it??...... But listen, these are teachers people. They didn't hire on to be babysitters. They went to get a 4 year degree, a 6 year degree because they wanted to educate, not be an entertainer. But good teachers like Mr. S?? He still recognized that kids are just that - kids. Not mini-grown-ups, not little adults. And so he taught them as kids. He made laughter a subject. He made fun a part of their day. He became known for his pranks, his jokes, his "If I see any of you wearing something with Cardinals on it, I will pull you into my classroom & cover it up with tape because you should be rooting for the Cubs" antics that endeared him to so many (my die-hard, Cardinal/baseball-loving son was certainly one of those). He gave a lot of them nicknames too. My son had one & I didn't even know it until after Mr. S wasn't in the building anymore. Like my son wanted to keep it for himself & Mr. S. I love that... And I love hearing the stories recently of how he made school fun for staff too. You see, the truth is all the other teachers would say he was their hope-to-be-like-him favorite teacher too. So, yea, we all miss him already.
5. Live love now.
Do you feel it? Just reading all of these things oozes it. You hear it in every joke, every story, every character quality. Mr. S loved God. He didn't just believe there was a God. He didn't just walk into a church building. He wasn't just a good person....
He knew God loved him, he knew God's Son.
And he let it affect every part of his life. He let that love play out in his life.
....How he treated his wife. Do you know how many times I saw him with his arm around her shoulders or placed lovingly on her back? I noticed these things over the past couple years we saw each other at school functions because it spoke to the man he was & the marriage they had. He adored his wife. He was protective of his wife.
....How he treated his kids. A friend shared a story that he said the truth was he rarely sat down for a 3 hour baseball game. Why? Because why would he do that when he could be spending time with his kids. Are you kidding me??? How many dads choose their kids on game-day over their favorite team? The good ones do...
....How he treated his family. He was the one that life centered around. I don't want to speak into a place where I wasn't, but what I can tell you is he was deeply, deeply loved by his family & his wife's family.
....How he treated his friends. He was exceptional. You hear it over & over again. Many, many people considered him a "friend" & those closest to him could tell you story after story of how something he said, something he did affected their lives.
....How he treated his school students & staff. Respect. Kindness. Laughter. Grace. And more grace.
....How he treated those he coached. Of course he coached too. Because people who love the Lord like Mr. S did just gave & gave, service upon service. So many stories of his sacrificial heart. So many stories of his giving to those high school students & of course, to the other high school coaches.
....On & on & on it goes. The ripples of the love he lived are widespread. He had learned the joy of unconditional, never-ending LOVE and he poured it out over & over & over again.
I am so very blessed to be in one of those ripples standing beside my son. In that ripple, we felt the wave of Mr. S's loving ways surrounded by his fun & his kindness. You taught us well Mr. S. We learned your lessons. We won't forget. And even on the days we do, we'll remember you showed grace for those times too.
