who, what, where, when, WHY??

So last night was one of those moments - - the kind that every mom has, but we rarely talk about (which is a shame... but that's a whole 'nother post).  I had a bit of a breakdown.  Now I've had way, way worse - this didn't involved too many tears, but it involved a bad attitude and I admit, I was looking at things wrong;   instead of choosing thankfulness, I chose discontentment.  I was working in my kitchen & getting frustrated by the leaky faucet (it's been like that for months), the gnats flying around my head from the doors being left open by my kids, the dishes in the sink because the dishwasher hadn't been unloaded yet, the 2 loads of clean laundry yet to be folded... then I start thinking about the other 2 folded loads upstairs that need to be put away, not to mention the full hampers in all our rooms - well, you get my drift...and I'm sorry to admit that I took my bad attitude out on my husband mentioning all the things that need to get done, but don't seem to ever get done.  And in that frustration I tell him "What are we doing?  Why would we add another kid to this family?"  Which really meant (because you all know women aren't always that great at saying what they are really thinking!): "Why are we choosing to add another hamper of laundry that needs to be washed, folded, & put away and another sinkful of dishes?  Why more uncapped markers & broken crayons?  Why would we want to add to the growing stack of half-finished drawings from the kids and the scattered toys throughout the house?   Or the potential to have another child who has to go to the bathroom every 2 blocks that we walk away from our house to the point that we have to map out our walks so we go by houses we know?" (this may or may not have also happened last night...)
So, those are all valid, good questions & when people ask us "WHY?" I know those are the things they are really thinking.  But here's what happened an hour after my meltdown... I rocked my baby girl to sleep in my arms... I laid in bed with TJ 1 & TJ 2 and talked about all the fun we had that day at the zoo with our grandma & cousins, about playing outside & the good books we read that day... And I remembered as I gave them good-night hugs & kisses and walked downstairs to find the house all picked up & my husband scrubbing dishes at the sink that THESE are the better things - the things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely & admirable, excellent & praiseworthy (Phillipians 4:8).  The things we desire & have committed to choosing in our lives...
So while our "Why?" entails a desire for a brother for our son, a playmate for littlest one, another son to love on for Ryan & I ... it also entails choosing the better thing.  Because there are so many children who go to bed at night & may not be able to pinpoint a highlight of their day or may not get all the snuggling & hugs & kisses that my kids are getting, and Ryan & I know that we can do that - we can provide those things for another child.  So really,  "WHY NOT?"