G.R.A.Y.

I know, it's been awhile... & it's not that adoption isn't on our hearts as fervently as it was "pre-Ghana-meltdown", it's that we are still working hard to get everything figured out... so keep hanging with us because I hope to have a more formal announcement about our new plans really soon...
In the meantime, I wanted to blog a bit about the gray issues of life - because we were faced with a lot of those lately within our adoption process, but really so many of us face them on a day by day basis...
You know what I'm talking about right?  Those decisions that aren't so black & white - no "go this way" versus "go that way".  A lot of life ends up in the gray unfortunately & we all try our darndest to make the (hopefully) best decision with the (hopefully) best results (or perhaps we don't try that hard to figure it out & don't care if it's the best decision & then most likely we don't end up with the best results... yep, we've all been there a time or two - not my best places for sure...)
  The summer after I graduated from college, I headed up to Miracle Camp as a counselor (one of the best places on Earth by far... like "You have just made it through your crazy school year, what are you going to do?!" "Go to Miracle Camp!!!" kind of place...)  So back in the day, the counselors would run these "workshops" for our high school camp week (basically a 20 minute class with some type of life skill) & a few of us got together &  decided to come up with a class to help the kids learn to think critically about all the gray issues in life.  Thus, G.R.A.Y. was born....
(And quite possibly no one remembers this class or the G.R.A.Y. tools we put together, but turns out I needed it too back then...and turns out I still need it!!)
So here's what we did back then: After naming a bunch of  "gray issues" (for example, the Bible never says "Thou shall not smoke" or "Thou shall not have sex before marriage" or "Thou shall only listen to music that says the word 'God' in it") , we talked through an acronym using the word "gray" to help figure out how to get through those issues...
G - - Go to God (Start by praying, end by praying, pretty much, pray your way through it - if you aren't asking for wisdom, you're not going to get it...)
R - - Read the Word (While, you may not find an out & out answer to your question, you can find a lot to point you in the right direction...For example, one of my favs in high school was 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore honor God with your body.")
A - - Ask people you trust (This doesn't mean the man at the grocery store that you see once a week, (though I sure do love my produce guy at Kroger)... I'm talking about who you really respect in life, who you   really look up to in life...  It might be a parent, a sibling, a teacher, a friend, a counselor or maybe the produce man happens to be your dad anyway, which is great for a number of reasons...moving on...
Y - - Here's what's really sad - I can't think of what the Y stood for.  So if anyone was in that class 12 years ago & took intricate notes & then kept those notes preserved & you happen to be reading this, let me know! (I just know so many people will be jumping at this opportunity to help me out!)  And if anyone can think of anything that even sounds remotely good, you are more than welcome to share that as well....

So that was G.R.A.Y. then... as for now -- well, now, the basic premise holds true, it's just that the issues have gotten more complex.  When I put myself back in high school, the issues I first mentioned were plenty tough to deal with (& unfortunately along my high school & college ways, I didn't always remember - or rather, chose to ignore G.R.A.Y.), but it definitely feels like the issues then were more internal, more personal - yeah, they influenced other people, but not to the extent they do now.  You factor in having kids & now it's like "We want another child but have been advised not to have one on our own - do we pursue adoption?" or "Should we adopt in country or internationally? within our own race boundaries or transracially?"  or lately, "Should we pursue an adoption in such & such country?" And then the always follow up - "And how in the world is this going to affect the 3 children we already have?????"
So we've gone through G.R.A.Y. alot during this adoption process......
And we also have had many nights, especially lately, when we have hardly slept...
But I figure no one wants to hear about how we laid in the dark for hours watching the minutes tick by so let's just end on the easier to explain G.R.A.Y. note.  You're welcome.