We Cried For You...

Son, I just want you to know that today your brother & I cried for you...
How do you miss something you have not yet had?  How do you love something you don't know? 
I've said it before but again, it's the most amazing thing, this adoption process.  To care so much for you whose name we do not even know....
Last night your brother had his first sleepover.  I was so proud of him.  He choose a good friend & they both did so well.  We had pizza & made cookies.  They played Mario, Bey Blades, Legos... they made treasure maps, tracks, space ships.... This morning we had waffles & headed to church.  I was proud of them both & thankful, so thankful for friends like this in his life. 
When we got to church, they parted ways - back to families & your brother was quiet for awhile during the worship songs.  And at some point he tugged on my arm & I looked down & he was crying - tears just quietly streaming down his face & when I sat down to ask him what was wrong, he simply said, "I just want my brother."..............................
Do you hear that?  Can you feel that?  It's the ache of a little boy who knows you are out there, but doesn't know your name, has never seen your face, doesn't know how old you are....
And then I cried too - yes, out of my love for you - but also because WHO ARE WE to get a glimpse into this mystery of love????  
That my Heavenly Father would love me in a way that goes beyond my name, beyond what I look like or who I am or what I do.  There is a purity to that love that I can only pray we will always have for each other in this family, my son. 
Because there will be days that we will fight.  There will be days that you want to play legos & he wants to play baseball, or rather you will both want to play legos & you will fight over who gets to use what piece.  There will be days that he is mean & you are angry or you are mean & he is angry.  There will be days that we all are both.... 
Yes, we are guaranteed to have hard days - days that will try our patience, test our love. 
I pray about that often - that on those days the love we have for each other will prevail & that it will make us compassionate, merciful, & full of grace & forgiveness. 
But please know that now... well, right now, we just love you....so much that sometimes, it spills out of our hearts & it runs down our faces.