I would say this song pretty much sums it up...
And it is well worth 5 minutes of your time....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnf21GC2aBQ
Amen...
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Thoughts I'm thinking...
It's been awhile since I wrote on here, & I know a lot of people have been wondering & asking me "Where are you at now?" since everything got really fuzzy back 3 weeks ago... Well, we are kind-of in the same spot (which is part of why I haven't written in awhile)... And more than that, I'm still having difficulty processing everything myself (as is Ryan), so it makes it even more hard to explain to someone else....
But here are random thoughts I've had in the last few weeks:
THOUGHT 1: I'm thankful that when I truly don't know what to say in my prayers, I can cry out "Daddy, Abba, Father!" & the Spirit intercedes for me knowing exactly where my heart is....
THOUGHT 2: I'm wondering why I ever thought a Floatable Alphabet was necessary for the kids' bathtime. I mean seriously, can the kid just have fun once in awhile? Why do we think we need to use every moment including splashing in the water to try to make them smarter or give them an edge?? "Oh you want to know why my son was reading before kindergarten? Well, we have this great alphabet set that sticks to the walls of the bathtub for like 5 seconds before falling off...."
THOUGHT 3: I'm thinking that God is still impressing the desire for another child on both Ryan & I's hearts. So knowing it's still there at least gives us a push to keep moving forward...
THOUGHT 4: I'm thinking that international adoption is a big, crazy mess. And it is, it just is... listen, domestic adoption is hard enough without imposing a whole 'nother country into the mix. You do that & you just are destined for more work & more hardship. You go ahead & try with a country from Africa where they are still very much figuring out the role of government within their country & well, it's even that much MORE work & MORE hardship... (For example, we recently found out that the woman who issued the suspensions of adoptions in Ghana does not have a legal right to impose that suspension. So while obviously it's likely the possibility of a true suspension or legal changes related to adoption is going to have to be addressed soon in Ghana, for now the suspension isn't playing out in country near the way this minister would have hoped. Many regional directors are still going through all that needs to be done to legalize the adoption on their end.)
[BTW - for more information on the craziness that is international adoption right now go to http://buy.stuckdocumentary.com/. This is a site dedicated to the new documentary making waves called "Stuck". It's the perfect title for so very many families & so very many, many children.....]
THOUGHT 5: I'm also wondering why, oh why, my house is getting dirtier when we are in it less??? It's always the most frustrating part of the summer for me - home a lot less, dirtier a lot more...Coincidently, my 5 year old daughter wrote on my mother's day card this year the following: "My mommy is good at... cleaning. My mommy likes to.... clean. My mommy is often... cleaning." (Which is kind-of humorous yet sweet except that my husband was laughing really hard for some reason....)
THOUGHT 6: I've been thinking a lot about loss & how (or in many times, if...) we allow ourselves to experience loss. One of the best gifts my mother has shown me as I've become a mom is the "right to grieve a loss". She has a good friend who is a counselor & who gave that gift to her... She always says that we need to "grieve our losses".
All of us go through loss of something or someone in our lifetime & whether society would call them "big" or "small" does not matter. What matters is that thing or that idea or that dream or that person was important to us. And I'm learning that if we don't grieve the loss, we end up stuck - whether it's stuck being bitter, stuck in the past, stuck in our frustration, stuck in our "What If's?"....
It's been said there are 5 stages to grief & the person who can accept the loss often goes through those stages to varying degrees to reach the end...
1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
Last week I finally realized that I had been doing this. I was starting a grieving process as we are faced with a very real "loss" in terms of our dreams of adopting from Ghana & it keeps hitting me every week that goes by with no real news for us. That dream meant that we were sure we would be traveling there at least once by the end of this summer (which means we were saving up vacation time for that & now that it's not here, we are scrambling to figure out what to even do this summer!)... That dream meant that by now we would at least know who "he" was - have a face, a name.... That dream meant we would stay with the same agency, same country all through the adoption even if (when) we encountered some paperwork issue later on in the process, then we would fight & get through it with a son in tow returning home joyfully before Christmas of this year... It didn't seem to farfetched to me or to others in terms of how Ghana had been running. But you all know it's not like that now & while it's still going (& for that I'm so grateful!), it's not looking all that steady for people like us who have yet to be matched to a child (whether through a referral or finding a waiting child) plus there are certainly a lot of slowdowns right now in general & uncertainty for the future all the way around. Initially when we heard the news I was well into Stage 1, "God will change her heart", "It's not really happening the way we are hearing".... pretty quickly I moved to stage 2 & 3 together I think - - "well we just hang on because it guaranteed to work out in the end"... or frustration at organizations & people at every end of the spectrum... Stage 4 started hitting last week, I cried to a friend of mine who is a teacher in the middle of the school day... No, I really did - like, there she is with her class behind her & for what I think was a good 10 minutes after she had asked me "How is it going?" I start talking & then crying & then I look behind her & see all those kids & think "Oh my word, what is wrong with me??". (She was so gracious by the way - kudos to her for not interrupting me with a "So, I have 26 first graders I'm in charge of? Remember those???") I cried earlier that week too a number of times with Ryan & then on Friday it was pretty much a meltdown all day so that by the end of the day I had swollen tissue all around my eyes & really, let's be honest, my whole face... And then I had to attempt to cover that up so we could attend a graduation party & then my son's baseball game... not pretty people...literally...
I think I'm still there to a degree, but there is a little more fight back in my right now as we continue to pursue all our various options again. We constantly pray for direction, for wisdom, for peace. And we aren't going to move from where we are until we feel that clarity (which we all know could take awhile, so pretty much, I need to sit back & buckle my seat belt...)
So here's my thought on this lately - it's not just me. I'm not the only one going through loss right now. I've talked to friends these past weeks & realized how very often we have to do this in our lives. It's not just like one time in your life, it's like over & over & over again.... Your child didn't make the cheerleading team or the traveling soccer team? Well, she may need to accept the loss, and then maybe you do too because you had hoped she would follow in your foot steps... You found out that you or someone in your family is facing a devastating illness? That's just pretty much going to blow you off your feet & if you don't deal with the loss, it's going to leave you knocked down.... You realized that someone close to you isn't who you thought they were or that the relationship you had with someone isn't what you thought it was? That's really tough stuff & you have to admit the depth of that loss in your life... Your house isn't as clean as you wish (as indicated by the things your little daughter is picking up... & usually eating... off the floor)? It's a loss of what you thought so admit that it's dirty, that it's not what you hoped it would be, & go outside & have fun with your kids...
Sorry, just had to throw that one in there...
Anyway... The truth is - it's real to you, so grieve it - - - grieve it so you can come to stage 5 - - - grieve it so you can accept it & grieve it so you can move on....
But here are random thoughts I've had in the last few weeks:
THOUGHT 1: I'm thankful that when I truly don't know what to say in my prayers, I can cry out "Daddy, Abba, Father!" & the Spirit intercedes for me knowing exactly where my heart is....
THOUGHT 2: I'm wondering why I ever thought a Floatable Alphabet was necessary for the kids' bathtime. I mean seriously, can the kid just have fun once in awhile? Why do we think we need to use every moment including splashing in the water to try to make them smarter or give them an edge?? "Oh you want to know why my son was reading before kindergarten? Well, we have this great alphabet set that sticks to the walls of the bathtub for like 5 seconds before falling off...."
THOUGHT 3: I'm thinking that God is still impressing the desire for another child on both Ryan & I's hearts. So knowing it's still there at least gives us a push to keep moving forward...
THOUGHT 4: I'm thinking that international adoption is a big, crazy mess. And it is, it just is... listen, domestic adoption is hard enough without imposing a whole 'nother country into the mix. You do that & you just are destined for more work & more hardship. You go ahead & try with a country from Africa where they are still very much figuring out the role of government within their country & well, it's even that much MORE work & MORE hardship... (For example, we recently found out that the woman who issued the suspensions of adoptions in Ghana does not have a legal right to impose that suspension. So while obviously it's likely the possibility of a true suspension or legal changes related to adoption is going to have to be addressed soon in Ghana, for now the suspension isn't playing out in country near the way this minister would have hoped. Many regional directors are still going through all that needs to be done to legalize the adoption on their end.)
[BTW - for more information on the craziness that is international adoption right now go to http://buy.stuckdocumentary.com/. This is a site dedicated to the new documentary making waves called "Stuck". It's the perfect title for so very many families & so very many, many children.....]
THOUGHT 5: I'm also wondering why, oh why, my house is getting dirtier when we are in it less??? It's always the most frustrating part of the summer for me - home a lot less, dirtier a lot more...Coincidently, my 5 year old daughter wrote on my mother's day card this year the following: "My mommy is good at... cleaning. My mommy likes to.... clean. My mommy is often... cleaning." (Which is kind-of humorous yet sweet except that my husband was laughing really hard for some reason....)
THOUGHT 6: I've been thinking a lot about loss & how (or in many times, if...) we allow ourselves to experience loss. One of the best gifts my mother has shown me as I've become a mom is the "right to grieve a loss". She has a good friend who is a counselor & who gave that gift to her... She always says that we need to "grieve our losses".
All of us go through loss of something or someone in our lifetime & whether society would call them "big" or "small" does not matter. What matters is that thing or that idea or that dream or that person was important to us. And I'm learning that if we don't grieve the loss, we end up stuck - whether it's stuck being bitter, stuck in the past, stuck in our frustration, stuck in our "What If's?"....
It's been said there are 5 stages to grief & the person who can accept the loss often goes through those stages to varying degrees to reach the end...
1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance
Last week I finally realized that I had been doing this. I was starting a grieving process as we are faced with a very real "loss" in terms of our dreams of adopting from Ghana & it keeps hitting me every week that goes by with no real news for us. That dream meant that we were sure we would be traveling there at least once by the end of this summer (which means we were saving up vacation time for that & now that it's not here, we are scrambling to figure out what to even do this summer!)... That dream meant that by now we would at least know who "he" was - have a face, a name.... That dream meant we would stay with the same agency, same country all through the adoption even if (when) we encountered some paperwork issue later on in the process, then we would fight & get through it with a son in tow returning home joyfully before Christmas of this year... It didn't seem to farfetched to me or to others in terms of how Ghana had been running. But you all know it's not like that now & while it's still going (& for that I'm so grateful!), it's not looking all that steady for people like us who have yet to be matched to a child (whether through a referral or finding a waiting child) plus there are certainly a lot of slowdowns right now in general & uncertainty for the future all the way around. Initially when we heard the news I was well into Stage 1, "God will change her heart", "It's not really happening the way we are hearing".... pretty quickly I moved to stage 2 & 3 together I think - - "well we just hang on because it guaranteed to work out in the end"... or frustration at organizations & people at every end of the spectrum... Stage 4 started hitting last week, I cried to a friend of mine who is a teacher in the middle of the school day... No, I really did - like, there she is with her class behind her & for what I think was a good 10 minutes after she had asked me "How is it going?" I start talking & then crying & then I look behind her & see all those kids & think "Oh my word, what is wrong with me??". (She was so gracious by the way - kudos to her for not interrupting me with a "So, I have 26 first graders I'm in charge of? Remember those???") I cried earlier that week too a number of times with Ryan & then on Friday it was pretty much a meltdown all day so that by the end of the day I had swollen tissue all around my eyes & really, let's be honest, my whole face... And then I had to attempt to cover that up so we could attend a graduation party & then my son's baseball game... not pretty people...literally...
I think I'm still there to a degree, but there is a little more fight back in my right now as we continue to pursue all our various options again. We constantly pray for direction, for wisdom, for peace. And we aren't going to move from where we are until we feel that clarity (which we all know could take awhile, so pretty much, I need to sit back & buckle my seat belt...)
So here's my thought on this lately - it's not just me. I'm not the only one going through loss right now. I've talked to friends these past weeks & realized how very often we have to do this in our lives. It's not just like one time in your life, it's like over & over & over again.... Your child didn't make the cheerleading team or the traveling soccer team? Well, she may need to accept the loss, and then maybe you do too because you had hoped she would follow in your foot steps... You found out that you or someone in your family is facing a devastating illness? That's just pretty much going to blow you off your feet & if you don't deal with the loss, it's going to leave you knocked down.... You realized that someone close to you isn't who you thought they were or that the relationship you had with someone isn't what you thought it was? That's really tough stuff & you have to admit the depth of that loss in your life... Your house isn't as clean as you wish (as indicated by the things your little daughter is picking up... & usually eating... off the floor)? It's a loss of what you thought so admit that it's dirty, that it's not what you hoped it would be, & go outside & have fun with your kids...
Sorry, just had to throw that one in there...
Anyway... The truth is - it's real to you, so grieve it - - - grieve it so you can come to stage 5 - - - grieve it so you can accept it & grieve it so you can move on....
Thursday, May 2, 2013
In one minute....
In one minute the whole direction of your life can change...
Our family's just did....
Have you had this happen to you before? Probably you have but just in case you haven't - if you imagine someone standing straight in front of you & just punching you square in the gut, then yep, you got it.
That happened today.
In one minute, I read the email from our adoption coordinator. "...a directive has been issued from the ministry to the regional directors that all adoptions must be suspended in Ghana immediately"
And that was it. Just like that.
What it means is that we're waiting to hear back about what our options are at this point - hoping to hear some the end of this week & some next week. (By the way, you can't wait on 2 lists/2 countries - you have decide on one & go with it.)
What it means is that we will most likely not be with the Ghana program (if there will even be one after this week), especially since we hadn't even received a referral. In adoption terms, that means we are on the bottom of the dog pile.
What it also means is that we've "lost" a year of time, months of paperwork & a half of our adoption money that we had set aside. (I say "lost" because we won't ever get that back.)
And if I let my mind go there - on what it all means right now - well, I would be the one lost. Lost in regret, lost in anxiety, lost in despair...
But here's my "1000 Gifts" List:
First, I'm so thankful for the way God has been working on my heart the past week. If He hadn't I wouldn't have been able to hear this news today.
Second, I'm so thankful for my hubby - my steady hubby who trusts & loves so much better than I do.
Third, I'm thankful for my kids. Oh my darling children. I don't know how we will tell them. It will be quite a lesson on trust & hurt & trust again for them as well. The daily/nightly prayers they uttered on behalf of their "brother from Ghana" & the orphans of Ghana..... The African music that is played often in our house...(& was in fact, sung to by them even today after I heard the news - you better believe I was choking back tears the whole time.) At some point when we have some clearer direction we will share with them, but in the meantime we will keep praying with them for the dear little ones in Ghana & believe that nothing is wasted (if you haven't read my last post, now would be a good time to switch over there: http://www.livingloveeph5.blogspot.com/2013/04/nothing-is-wasted.html)
{{The above was written on Tuesday night, the night after we found out....continuing on with thoughts that I have had in the past 2 days since...}}
As of today, nothing has changed & really, I think there is still so much to process with all of this. This week is a waiting like we have never waited before (more like a waiting-on-pins-&-needles kind-of waiting). It still, as I type this & think over it all, makes me feel sick to my stomach & if I let it go on, could make me "lost" as I said before.
I am thinking on these things as I pray:
The main thing is that (& I'll just be honest here - this is going to be somewhat controversial & not sit well with everyone) it's true I believe in miracles & believe that God could completely change the heart of the National Minister in charge of all this. Really, I do.... but I think when I get wrapped up in praying for that & for some big huge miracle to occur, I'm missing what God is doing now, right now, in this situation. Sunday we had a phenomenal sermon about prayer based off Acts 4:23-31. The disciples had just been pulled into court & essentially told to stop talking about Jesus, and they decide to gather & pray. This is a pivotal point in their ministry & in that moment, everything hinged on their next decision. They sure must have had a "punch-in-the-gut" experience as they were faced with either death from talking or staying silent about the Lord who had changed their lives & commanded them to "Preach the Gospel". If you study that prayer, there is very little supplication (or asking/telling God what to do/how to do it). The majority of the prayer begins with acknowledging who God is, in other words, His character, and also acknowledging what He has done & said in the past, His faithfulness.... There is once verse in there asking for boldness (vs. 29) but everything else is just praises & expressed confidence in who God is & that His will is what will prevail. As I type this, all I can think is, "Teach me Lord"..... "Teach me to pray like that! To be so sure & confident in You that I don't have to go asking for something all the time. To be so sure & confident in You that I know you will do what is for our good, for the good of the children in Ghana & for Your glory according to Your time & Your purposes." I want that more than anything else.... you know what friends? I want that more than I want another child. And that is really, really hard to say right now, but it's the cry of my heart & it's the lifting up of my hands & it's the laying down of my will & it's the bowing of my knees.... Your will Lord Jesus, not based on what I wish would happen, not based on what I think would be the best way or the good way, but based on who YOU are!!
To be honest, it's been hard to not just want to hole up & want to take time to process all of this - I'm having to force myself to keep going, keep getting out. Yesterday I went on a walk with my little one, & my sister & 3 of my nieces. The 2 older ones were riding their bike & it was a bit of a trek... We had instructed them to stop at each of the corners to take a break & wait for us slow mommies to catch up. At some point in one of the blocks, they stopped at a nice shady spot because they said they wanted a break. Quickly we had caught up to them & they had to get back on their bikes & then go just a short distance to the corner where they should have stopped & waited for us & where they would have had a longer break & not had to get back up on their bikes. Now, I'm probably reading way more into this than I should but you know what I thought?? I thought to myself "Ryan & Janelle, do NOT get off the bike when it feels like you're tired & need a break. Do NOT get off the bike because it seems like a good spot to stop. Because if you hold on a little longer, He will take you to the right break - the right end, not the one that seems easy & safe to you, but to the one that will reap more reward." So hear me on this, I'm not going to get off the bike this time & sit in my bed & question why He started us on this journey over a year ago only to have it feel like it's "ending" here. I'm not going to start to question His character because a lady who has a high degree of power in Ghana gave out a directive halting adoptions. We may need to steer in another direction, yes, that much is true, but it's not like we get off the bike when things don't seem to go as planned.
(And by the way, if you have been along this journey with us, would you keep pedaling behind us?? We need the push of your prayers & the encouragement that you bring to us; it helps to know you're cheering us on & care about us!)
Lastly, as a side note, I don't know what in life you are facing right now that feels like a punch-in-the-gut.... but if you claim Christ as your Savior & Master, then keep on pedaling - don't give up now!! We both know that God is Much Too Wise, Much Too Good, Much Too Loving to only bring you this far & leave you. The end may not be what you want it to be, but it will be much better...
And if you don't believe & you're trying to muddle through the muck & mire of that situation, there is a God who loves you dearly, who not only created you in a unique way, but longs to redeem Your life from that pit & set you back on a firm road of purpose.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
Our family's just did....
Have you had this happen to you before? Probably you have but just in case you haven't - if you imagine someone standing straight in front of you & just punching you square in the gut, then yep, you got it.
That happened today.
In one minute, I read the email from our adoption coordinator. "...a directive has been issued from the ministry to the regional directors that all adoptions must be suspended in Ghana immediately"
And that was it. Just like that.
What it means is that we're waiting to hear back about what our options are at this point - hoping to hear some the end of this week & some next week. (By the way, you can't wait on 2 lists/2 countries - you have decide on one & go with it.)
What it means is that we will most likely not be with the Ghana program (if there will even be one after this week), especially since we hadn't even received a referral. In adoption terms, that means we are on the bottom of the dog pile.
What it also means is that we've "lost" a year of time, months of paperwork & a half of our adoption money that we had set aside. (I say "lost" because we won't ever get that back.)
And if I let my mind go there - on what it all means right now - well, I would be the one lost. Lost in regret, lost in anxiety, lost in despair...
But here's my "1000 Gifts" List:
First, I'm so thankful for the way God has been working on my heart the past week. If He hadn't I wouldn't have been able to hear this news today.
Second, I'm so thankful for my hubby - my steady hubby who trusts & loves so much better than I do.
Third, I'm thankful for my kids. Oh my darling children. I don't know how we will tell them. It will be quite a lesson on trust & hurt & trust again for them as well. The daily/nightly prayers they uttered on behalf of their "brother from Ghana" & the orphans of Ghana..... The African music that is played often in our house...(& was in fact, sung to by them even today after I heard the news - you better believe I was choking back tears the whole time.) At some point when we have some clearer direction we will share with them, but in the meantime we will keep praying with them for the dear little ones in Ghana & believe that nothing is wasted (if you haven't read my last post, now would be a good time to switch over there: http://www.livingloveeph5.blogspot.com/2013/04/nothing-is-wasted.html)
{{The above was written on Tuesday night, the night after we found out....continuing on with thoughts that I have had in the past 2 days since...}}
As of today, nothing has changed & really, I think there is still so much to process with all of this. This week is a waiting like we have never waited before (more like a waiting-on-pins-&-needles kind-of waiting). It still, as I type this & think over it all, makes me feel sick to my stomach & if I let it go on, could make me "lost" as I said before.
I am thinking on these things as I pray:
The main thing is that (& I'll just be honest here - this is going to be somewhat controversial & not sit well with everyone) it's true I believe in miracles & believe that God could completely change the heart of the National Minister in charge of all this. Really, I do.... but I think when I get wrapped up in praying for that & for some big huge miracle to occur, I'm missing what God is doing now, right now, in this situation. Sunday we had a phenomenal sermon about prayer based off Acts 4:23-31. The disciples had just been pulled into court & essentially told to stop talking about Jesus, and they decide to gather & pray. This is a pivotal point in their ministry & in that moment, everything hinged on their next decision. They sure must have had a "punch-in-the-gut" experience as they were faced with either death from talking or staying silent about the Lord who had changed their lives & commanded them to "Preach the Gospel". If you study that prayer, there is very little supplication (or asking/telling God what to do/how to do it). The majority of the prayer begins with acknowledging who God is, in other words, His character, and also acknowledging what He has done & said in the past, His faithfulness.... There is once verse in there asking for boldness (vs. 29) but everything else is just praises & expressed confidence in who God is & that His will is what will prevail. As I type this, all I can think is, "Teach me Lord"..... "Teach me to pray like that! To be so sure & confident in You that I don't have to go asking for something all the time. To be so sure & confident in You that I know you will do what is for our good, for the good of the children in Ghana & for Your glory according to Your time & Your purposes." I want that more than anything else.... you know what friends? I want that more than I want another child. And that is really, really hard to say right now, but it's the cry of my heart & it's the lifting up of my hands & it's the laying down of my will & it's the bowing of my knees.... Your will Lord Jesus, not based on what I wish would happen, not based on what I think would be the best way or the good way, but based on who YOU are!!
To be honest, it's been hard to not just want to hole up & want to take time to process all of this - I'm having to force myself to keep going, keep getting out. Yesterday I went on a walk with my little one, & my sister & 3 of my nieces. The 2 older ones were riding their bike & it was a bit of a trek... We had instructed them to stop at each of the corners to take a break & wait for us slow mommies to catch up. At some point in one of the blocks, they stopped at a nice shady spot because they said they wanted a break. Quickly we had caught up to them & they had to get back on their bikes & then go just a short distance to the corner where they should have stopped & waited for us & where they would have had a longer break & not had to get back up on their bikes. Now, I'm probably reading way more into this than I should but you know what I thought?? I thought to myself "Ryan & Janelle, do NOT get off the bike when it feels like you're tired & need a break. Do NOT get off the bike because it seems like a good spot to stop. Because if you hold on a little longer, He will take you to the right break - the right end, not the one that seems easy & safe to you, but to the one that will reap more reward." So hear me on this, I'm not going to get off the bike this time & sit in my bed & question why He started us on this journey over a year ago only to have it feel like it's "ending" here. I'm not going to start to question His character because a lady who has a high degree of power in Ghana gave out a directive halting adoptions. We may need to steer in another direction, yes, that much is true, but it's not like we get off the bike when things don't seem to go as planned.
(And by the way, if you have been along this journey with us, would you keep pedaling behind us?? We need the push of your prayers & the encouragement that you bring to us; it helps to know you're cheering us on & care about us!)
Lastly, as a side note, I don't know what in life you are facing right now that feels like a punch-in-the-gut.... but if you claim Christ as your Savior & Master, then keep on pedaling - don't give up now!! We both know that God is Much Too Wise, Much Too Good, Much Too Loving to only bring you this far & leave you. The end may not be what you want it to be, but it will be much better...
And if you don't believe & you're trying to muddle through the muck & mire of that situation, there is a God who loves you dearly, who not only created you in a unique way, but longs to redeem Your life from that pit & set you back on a firm road of purpose.
"I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber." (Psalm 121:1-3)
he who keeps you will not slumber." (Psalm 121:1-3)
Amen..... Selah....
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