Why I hope my kids grow up to be Ugly Nerds....

Ok, confession time...
Most days I pray that my kids grow up to be ugly.... or nerds.... or even better.... ugly nerds.
Before you decide I'm an awful mother, unfit for adopting another child, hang with me....
Many moms wish for the popular thing for their kids.  And let's be honest, they aren't even wishing for the "I hope my kid is well-liked by all" type of popular.  They are secretly hoping their kids make the "popular group" system that is found in every school, every age, and every class (this means they hope this in their mind, but don't say it out loud).  And, let's be even more honest.... hate to break it to you moms.... but.... it's not that much of a secret.  We all see you & we all get it.  You are grooming your kid for popularity.  It's not just an "I hope she has on the cutest clothes" or "I just want him to have the cutest haircut" anymore - - it's more like "I put her in both dance & cheerleading at 5 so she is in all the right things to 'succeed'" (& here, I'm starting to question your definition of success because is learning a victory chant to a cheer really the most successful thing you could do for your kid??)  or it's like "We are discouraging his interest in playing the trombone & hoping he starts getting the hang of basketball, third try around...." (Let's just call it what it is... you think marching band is for "geeks" so you want to foster his other "gifts".)  Yep, those are the "many moms" that I'm talking about - "whatever we can do to prep him for popularity, let's make sure we do it" moms....(incidentally, I have nothing against dance, cheerleading, basketball, instruments or anything else of the sort!!)
There's another group of many moms.... These are the ones who wish for the "most beautiful" for their kids... To be fair, we as parents are automatically conditioned for this at the get-go.  Consider how many babies are termed "The Most Beautiful Baby in the World" just minutes after birth.  Never mind that they are covered in fuzz.... Never mind that they have a wax coating on top of that fuzz... Never mind that they are red & screaming with an incredibly angry look of despair on their face... Never mind that their heads are shaped like cones.... they are "Truly the most beautiful baby I have seen in a long, long time... maybe even ever....and to think they are mine!  Isn't it amazing???"
(And just so we are all clear, I should know all about these things because, you guessed it - I have birthed the 3 most beautiful babies this world has ever seen.... )
But this is going beyond - "you're so beautiful because you are my child" type of thing... This is the "What can I do to insure you are the most beautiful when compared to all the other children" type of thing....It's beyond cute clothes, cute hair - it's make-up at age 7, it's lifting weights at age 8, it's encouraging a boob job or a nose job or whatever else as a 16th birthday gift because if you only had that, then you, dear child, will have arrived at the "Most Beautiful" status where all the boys want you & all the girls want to BE you....
And while it's true that I perhaps exaggerated at parts of those examples, the majority of those examples are all very, very sadly, true.
Which leads me to my hope for ugly nerds. 
I work in junior high & senior high schools now.  I'm an RN with her BSN working as a nurse educator for the WPC talking in the schools about HPV & other STDs... (No, seriously, I am...)
So, I work with teens a lot & try to keep up with teen talk, which generally goes okay because I'm learning that they actually WANT to talk about this stuff with someone who won't get all uptight on them & will just listen & care.... But I digress...
The fact of the matter is that the more research I do for my job & the more I find out about what teens are facing now-a-days (yes, even when compared to the little over 10 years since I was a teen... did I say 10????  I'm sure I just meant 5..... yes, 5, I'm positive.... ), the more I realize that I'd rather my kids just be ugly nerds.  I just think it's easier all the way around....
Okay, truthfully, I DO want them to be beautiful.  But the whole mom thing means I reserve the right to always think they are beautiful, even when, as one 7th grade student told me today, "volcanoes erupt" on their face.... bless his dear face... (did I say face?  I meant his heart, yes, his dear heart.....poor kid).  And when I watch teens at school sometimes I think, I truly think, the pretty ones always have a much harder time.... harder to remember what's important & what matters.... harder to fend off the grabs & jabs of the guys who are still really maturing (that's a nice way to put it, isn't it??). 
And, truthfully, I DO want them to be popular.  At least in terms of what being popular really means - I want them to be well-liked by the jocks, the bandies, the singers, the honors kids, the losers - by ALL the kids.... BUT (& it's a big BUT)  I don't want them to be well-liked because they fit into any of those things....because in the end, how much do those things matter???  I mean, really matter???  Are we defined by those things???   Sometimes what I just want to share with the teens I teach is that what you DO does NOT define you, it's who you ARE that defines you!  In other words, it will ALWAYS be more important to figure out the BEING rather than the doing....  The doing comes.  In fact, you have years ahead for doing, but if you don't figure out who you are - well, that's when you end up in trouble....So if you're doing to DO, then make sure you are learning to BE at the same time.
So, see, sometimes it feels like just having ugly nerds would be a lot easier!!
Anyway, at the end of it all, these are my dreams for my kids - not to be the most popular but to treat everyone justly & fairly.... to have wisdom about what is right & wrong & good & bad (because there IS such a thing as all 4 of those....).
These are my dreams for my kids - not to be the prettiest, but to love kindness & mercy..... to show compassion to everyone, but especially those who hurt, who are outcast, who are having a bad day or don't feel like they fit in because of the volcanoes on their face, their frizzy hair, the glasses on their face, their awkward 2 left feet or whatever else makes them feel "out" (& especially the kid who has all 4 of those!!!!)
These are my dreams for my kids - not to chase after things that are temporary & don't last but to be
humble... to consider others better than themselves & to therefore show respect & honor to everyone regardless of color, class, or any other way we try to segregate each other.
And if it turns out they are ugly nerds in the process, well, maybe it will protect them a bit along the way, and for sure... well, for sure, they will always be MY ugly nerds.